Rochester:Well,thenJane,calltoaidyourfancy—supposeyouwerenolongeragirlwellrearedanddisciplined,butawildboyindulgedfromchildhoodupwards;imagineyourselfinaremoteforeignland;conceivethatyoutherecommitacapitalerror,nomatterofwhatnatureorfromwhatmotives,butonewhoseconsequencesmustfollowyouthroughlifeandtaintallyourexistence.MindIdon』tsayaCRIME;Iamnotspeakingofsheddingofbloodoranyotherguiltyact,whichmightmaketheperpetratoramenabletothelaw:mywordisERROR.Theresultsofwhatyouhavedonebecomeintimetoyouutterlyinsupportable;youtakemeasurestoobtainrelief:unusualmeasures,butneitherunlawfulnorculpable.Stillyouaremiserable;forthehopehasquittedyouontheveryconfinesoflife:yoursunatnoondarkensinaneclipse,whichyoufeelwillnotleaveittillthetimeofsetting.Bitterandbaseassociationshavebecomethesolefoodofyourmemory:youwanderhereandthere,seekingrestinexile:happinessinpleasure—Imeaninheartless,sensualpleasure—suchasdullsintellectandblightsfeeling.Heart-wearyandsoul-withered,youcomehomeafteryearsofvoluntarybanishment:youmakeanewacquaintance—howorwherenomatter:youfindinthisstrangermuchofthegoodandbrightqualitieswhichyouhavesoughtfortwentyyears,andneverbeforeencountered;andtheyareallfresh,healthy,withoutsoilandwithouttaint.Suchsocietyrevives,regenerates;youfeelbetterdayscomeback—higherwishes,purerfeelings;youdesiretorecommenceyourlife,andtospendwhatremainstoyouofdaysinawaymoreworthyofanimmortalbeing.Toattainthisend,areyoujustifiedinoverleapinganobstacleofcustom—amereconventionalimpedimentwhichneitheryourconsciencesanctifiesnoryourjudgementapproves?
羅切斯特:「那麼好吧,簡,發揮你的想像力吧——設想你不再是受過精心培養和教導的姑娘,而是從幼年時代起就是一個放縱任性的男孩。想像你身處遙遠的異國,假設你在那裡鑄成了大錯,不管其性質如何,出於什麼動機,它的後果殃及你一生,玷污你的生活。注意,我沒有說『犯罪』,不是說流血或是其他犯罪行為,那樣的話肇事者會被繩之以法,我用的字是『錯誤』。你行為的惡果,到頭來使你絕對無法忍受。你採取措施以求獲得解脫,非正常的措施,但既不是非法,也並非有罪。
而你仍然感到不幸,因為希望在生活的邊緣離你而去,你的太陽遇上日蝕,在正午就開始暗淡,你覺得不到日落不會有所改變,痛苦和卑賤的聯想,成了你記憶的唯一食品。你到處遊蕩,在放逐中尋求安逸,在享樂中尋覓幸福——我的意思是沉湎於無情的肉慾——它消蝕才智,摧殘情感。在幾年的自願放逐以後,你心力交瘁地回到了家裡,結識了一位新知——何時結識,如何結識,都無關緊要。在這位陌生人身上,你看到了很多出類拔率的品質,為它們你已經尋尋覓覓二十來年,卻終不可得。這些品質新鮮健康,沒有污漬,沒有斑點,這種交往使人復活,催人新生。你覺得好日子又回來了——志更高,情更真。你渴望重新開始生活,以一種更配得上不朽的靈魂的方式度過餘生。為了達到這個目的,你是不是有理由越過習俗的藩籬——那種既沒有得到你良心的認可,也不為你的識見所贊同的、純粹因襲的障礙?」
Chapter23
Jane:DoyouthinkIcanstaytobecomenothingtoyou?DoyouthinkIamanautomaton?—amachinewithoutfeelings?Andcanbeartohavemymorselofbreadsnatchedfrommylips,andmydropoflivingwaterdashedfrommycup?Doyouthink,becauseIampoor,obscure,plain,andlittle,Iamsoullessandheartless?Youthinkwrong!—Ihaveasmuchsoulasyou—andfullasmuchheart!AndifGodhadgiftedmewithsomebeautyandmuchwealth,Ishouldhavemadeitashardforyoutoleaveme,asitisnowformetoleaveyou.Iamnottalkingtoyounowthroughthemediumofcustom,conventionalities,norevenofmortalflesh:itismyspiritthataddressesyourspirit;justasifbothhadpassedthroughthegrave,andwestoodatGod』sfeet,areequal—asweare!
簡:「你難道認為,我會留下來甘願做一個對你來說無足輕重的人?你以為我是一架機器?——一架沒有感情的機器?能夠容忍別人把一口麵包從我嘴裡搶走,把一滴生命之水從我杯子裡潑掉?難道就因為我一貧如洗、默默無聞、長相平庸、個子瘦小,就沒有靈魂,沒有心腸了?你不是想錯了!——我的心靈跟你一樣豐富——我的心胸跟你一樣充實!要是上帝賜予我一點姿色和充足的財富,我會使你同我現在一樣難分難捨,我不是根據習俗、常規,甚至也不是血肉之軀同你說話,而是我的靈魂同你的靈魂在對話,就彷彿我們兩人穿過墳墓,站在上帝腳下,彼此平等——本來就如此!」
LoveBetweenTwoDummies兩個啞巴的愛情
Heisamute,althoughcanunderstandothersspeech,cannotsayownactuallyfeeling.Sheishisneighbor,thegirlwhoisboundbyacommondestinywiththegrandmother.
Hereallylookslikeanelderbrother,Leadshertogotoschool,Accompanieshertoplay,Listenstoherchirpwithasmilegraspsthespeech.
Heonlyusesthehandsignalandsheconverses,Possibleshetobeabletoreadhiseachlook.Gazesatinhervisionfromelderbrother.Sheknewhehaslikesoneself.
Afterwards,shefinallytestswenttocollege,extremelyhappy.Hethenstartstogoallouttomakemoney,andthensendscontinuouslyforher.Shehasnotrejected.
Finally,shehasgraduated,startedthework.Thenshesaidfirmlytohimthat,「Elderbrother,Imustmarrytoyou!」Helookedlikeonlythefrightenedrabbittoescape,againisnotwillingtoseeher,howregardlessofshedoesentreat.
DoyouthinkIpityyou?DoyouthinkIappreciateyou?No,I』vefalleninlovewithyousinceIwas12.Butshecannotobtainhisreply.
Oneday,shehasbeenadmittedtothehospitalsuddenly.Hehasscaredandrunstolookher.Doctorsaid,inherthroatsteadilyalump,althoughhasexcised,destroyedthevocalcordactually,possiblyagainalsocouldnotdeliverthespeech.Onhospitalbed,hertearfuleyesdancegazehe,thereforetheymarried.
Verymanyyears,nobodylistenstothemtodeliveraspeech.Theyusethehand,withpen,converseswiththelook,Sharesisjoyfulandissad.Theybecamehavelovedtheobjectwhichthemenandwomenenvied.Thepeoplesaid:「Thatpairofhowhappymutehusbandsandwives!」
Lovecouldnotpreventgodofdeatharrival.Heabandonedhertowalkfirst.