Still,sheoftenappearedanxiousaboutmyloveaffair,andwouldaskquestionsthatseemedtomestrange,almostasthoughshefearedthatsomethingwouldhappentodestroymyromance.ButIwasquiteunpreparedforheroutburstwhenImentionedthatGeorgethoughtofpayingalightningvisittoEnglandbeforeweweremarried.「Hemustnotdoit,」shecried.「Ina,youmustnotlethimgo.Promisemeyouwillpreventhim.」shewastremblingallover.IdidwhatIcouldtoconsoleher,butshelookedsotiredandpalethatIpersuadedhertogotoherroomandrest,promisingtoreturnthenextday.
WhenIarrivedIfoundhersittingonthestep.Shelookedlonelyandpathetic,andforthefirsttimeIwonderedwhynomanhadevertakenherandlookedafterherandlovedher.MotherhadtoldmethatGreat-auntStephanhadbeenlovelyasayounggirl,andalthoughnotraceofthatbeautyremained,exceptperhapsinherbrowneyes,yetshelookedsosmallandappealingthatanyman,onefelt,wouldhavewantedtoprotecther.
Shepaused,asthoughshedidnotquiteknowhowtobegin.
Thensheseemedtogiveherself,mentally,alittleshake.「Youmusthavewondered」,shesaid,「WhyIwassoupsetatthethoughtofyoungGeorge』sgoingtoEnglandwithoutyou.Iamanoldwoman,andperhapsIhavethesillyfanciesoftheold,butIshouldliketotellyoumyownlovestory,andthenyoucandecidewhetheritiswiseforyourmantoleaveyoubeforeyouaremarried.」
「IwasquiteayounggirlwhenIfirstmetRichardWeston.HewasanEnglishmanwhoboardedwiththeVanRensburgsonthenextfarm,fourorfivemilesfromus.Richardwasnotstrong.Hehadaweakchest,andthedoctorshadsenthimtoSouthAfricasothatthedryaircouldcurehim.HetaughttheVanRensburgs』children,whowereyoungerthanIwas,thoughweoftenplayedtogether,buthedidthisforpleasureandnotbecauseheneededmoney.
「Welovedoneanotherfromthefirstmomentwemet,thoughwedidnotspeakofourloveuntiltheeveningofmyeighteenthbirthday.Allourfriendsandrelativeshadcometomyparty,andintheeveningwedancedonthebigoldcarpetwhichwehadlaiddowninthebarn.RichardhadcomewiththeVanRensburgs,andwedancedtogetherasoftenaswedared,whichwasnotveryoften,formyfatherhatedtheUitlanders.Indeed,foratimehehadquarreledwithmyneighborVanRensburgforallowingRichardtoboardwithhim,butafterwardshegotusedtotheidea,andwasalwayspolitetotheEnglishman,thoughheneverlikedhim.
「Thatwasthehappiestbirthdayofmylife,forwhilewewererestingbetweendancesRichardtookmeoutsideintothecool,moonlitnight,andthere,underthestars,hetoldmehelovedmeandaskedmetomarryhim.OfcourseIpromisedIwould,forIwastoohappytothinkofwhatmyparentswouldsay,orindeedofanythingexceptRichardwasnotatourmeetingplaceashehadarranged.Iwasdisappointedbutnotalarmed,forsomanythingscouldhappentoeitherofustopreventoutkeepingourtryst.IthoughtthatnexttimewevisitedtheVanRansburgs,Ishouldhearwhathadkepthimandwecouldplanfurthermeetings…
「SowhenmyfatheraskedifIwoulddrivewithhimtoDriefonteinIwasdelighted.Butwhenwereachedthehomesteadandweresittingonthestepdrinkingourcoffee,weheardthatRichardhadleftquitesuddenlyandhadgonebacktoEngland.Hisfatherhaddied,andnowhewastheheirandmustgobacktolookafterhisestates.
「Idonotrememberverymuchmoreaboutthatday,exceptthatthesunseemedtohavestoppedshiningandthecountrynolongerlookedbeautifulandfullofpromise,butbleakanddesolateasitsometimesdoesinwinterorintimesofdrought.Latethatafternoon,Jantje,thelittleHottentotherdboy,cameuptomeandhandedmealetter,whichhesaidtheEnglishbaashadleftforme.ItwastheonlyloveletterIeverreceived,butitturnedallmybitternessandgriefintoapeacefulnesswhichwasthenearestIcouldget,then,tohappiness.IknewRichardstilllovedme,andsomehow,aslongasIhadhisletter,Ifeltthatwecouldneverbereallyparted,evenifhewereinEnglandandIhadtoremainonthefarm.Ihaveityet,andthoughIamanold,tiredwoman,itstillgivesmehopeandcourage.」
「Itmusthavebeenawonderfulletter,AuntStephia,」Isaid.
Theoldladycamebackfromherdreamsofthatfar-offromance.「Perhaps,」shesaid,hesitatingalittle,「perhaps,mydear,youwouldcaretoreadit?」
「Ishouldloveto,AuntStephia,」Isaidgently.
Sheroseatonceandtrippedintothehouseaseagerlyasayounggirl.Whenshecamebackshehandedmealetter,fadedandyellowwithage,theedgesoftheenvelopewornandfrayedasthoughithadbeenmuchhandled.ButwhenIcametoopenitIfoundthatthesealwasunbroken.
「Openit,openit,」saidGreat-auntStephia,andhervoicewasshaking.
Ibrokethesealandread.