InHerGoldenEyes
戴安娜·尼科爾斯/DianeNichols
Mysix-year-olddaughter,Mary,heldontomyhandaswewalkedthroughtheanimalshelter.WewantedtopickjusttherightpuppyforhersisterKitty』s12thbirthday.Iscannedeachcage,noticingallthepairsofneedybrowneyesstaringbackatus.Itwasneedinessforloveandahappyhome—thingsthegirlsandIalsohungeredforsincetheirfatherandIhaddivorced.
「Hereareournewestarrivals,」thevolunteersaid.Heledustoacagewherethreepuppiesweresleeping.Theywerethesizeofsmallbearcubswithbeautifulfur.
「Whatkindarethey?」Iasked,stoopingdowntotakeacloserlook.
「They』rechowmixes,」theboysaid,「I』veneverseensuchawesome-lookingdogs.」
Myheartquickenedasthepupinthemiddlesuddenlyyawnedandlookedupatus.Shewasbreathtaking,withoversizedpawsandsilvery-blackwolfmarkingsonherface.Mostofall,itwashereyesthatstruckme.Theyweresogentleandsweet.Asgoldenasherfur.Somethingtoldmethatshewastheone.
AslongasIlive,I』llneverforgetKitty』sfacewhenwesurprisedherwithhernewcompanion.
「I』mgoingtonameherCheyenne.」Kittybeamed.
Inthecomingdays,CheyenneaccomplishedexactlywhatIwashopingfor.Insteadofthechildrenfeelinghomesickforthelifewe』dlost,theyspenttimeplayingwiththeirnewpuppy.Insteadoffeelingdepressedovermissingtheirdaddy,theyrompedandlaughedforhours.Itgavemehopethattheywouldmakethisverydiff?iculttransitionabitbetter—ifonlysomethingwouldhelpmedothesame.
ItwasonalateAprilafternoonthatthingstookahorribleturn.ThegirlswereinthebackyardplayingwithCheyennewhileIwenttothestore.WhenIgotbackhomeandpulledintothedriveway,apickuptruckcamespeedingdownourstreet.Igotoutofmycar,keysinhand,andsawthatCheyennehadgottenloose.Sheranpastmeinablur.
「Cheyenne!」Icalledout.「No!Getbackhere!」Butitwastoolate.Shechasedafterthetruck,caughtuptothefronttires,andwasf?lippedintheairbeforelandingwithathudonthesideoftheroad.
Luckily,thevetwasstillopenandtheytookherrightin.IkeptwatchingCheyenne』sside,willinghertokeepbreathingasthevetputherontheexaminingtable.
「Thefrontlegappearstobetheworstofherinjuries,」hesaid,pinchingbetweenhertoeswithasilverclamp.「Thenerveshavebeendamagedandshedoesn』thaveanyfeeling.I』mafraidwe』llhavetoamputate.」
ThedayofCheyenne』ssurgerywasthelongestdayofmylife.Nothingpreparedusforwhatwewouldseeoncewewenttopickherup.Inthebottomcage,Cheyennelaypantingandblinkingsleepyeyes,theentirerightsideofherbodyshavedcleanfromherstomachtoherneck.Awhitebandagewaswrappedaroundtheshoulderareawhereherlegusedtobe.Aplastictubewasalsotapedtotheareatohelpthesurgicalsitedrain.Shelookedtotallymiserable.TearsslidfrommyeyesasIsawCheyenne』stailgiveafaintwag.
Thatnightweallcampedonthef?loortosleepnexttoCheyenne.Asshemoanedinagonyandlayonthesideunabletomove,Ikepttryingtopictureherassheusedtobe:running,playing,jumpinguponthebedtosnuggledownnexttome.Ifeltfrightenedanduncertain,wonderinghowshewouldeverbethatsamecarefreepupagain.Inaway,Iunderstoodthekindoftraumashewasgoingthrough.Onedayyouwerehappy,thenlifejustshattered,leavingyouinaworldofpain.
KittyandItookshiftsforthef?irstfewnights.We』dkeepwatch,trytocomforther,giveherpainpillsandfeedhervanillaicecreamfromaspoon.She』ddoze,butusuallyshewastoouncomfortabletosleep.Everyfewhours,we』dcarryheroutsideandhelpherstandsoshecouldgotothebathroom.Wewereexhausted,butnothingwasmoreimportantthanCheyennecomingbacktous—evenifshewouldneverbethesameagain.
OnMondayIhadtotakecareofhermyselfwhenKittywenttoschool.MarykeptbusywithhercoloringbookswhileIconstantlyhoveredoverCheyenne.Ichangedherbandagesandmadesureshewasn』ttryingtobiteatthem.Istrokedherheadandkepttellingherhowstrongshewas.Seeinghersomiserableandwatchingthebloodoozefromherdrainagetubebrokemyheartoverandoveragain.Imissedhersweeteyeslookingatmewithloveinsteadofsomuchsuffering.
「You』reasurvivor,」Iwhisperedinherear.「Weneedyou,soyouhavetogetbetter.Thosechildrenaredependingonyou,sopleasedon』tgiveup.F?ightandgetthroughthis.」