JellyHearts
佚名/Anonymous
Iwasinmysecondyearofnurse』strainingatChildren』sHospitalwhenIfellinlovewithJimmy.Hiseyeswerethepurpleofafull-moonsky.
Jimmywasinthecommunicablediseaseswing,isolatedwithmeaslesandpneumonia.Hehadtobeenclosedinhisoxygen-tent-coveredcribmostofthetime.Whenhewasn』tsleeping,hewascryingtogetout.ButhealwaysstoppedcryingwhenIenteredhisroombecauseheknewIwouldcuddle,rockandsingtohim.TheChildren』sOrphanagehadbeenhisonlyhomemostofhisf?ifteenmonthsoflife.Iknewhewaswell-tendedthere,butnoinstitutioncarecanreplaceamother』slove.
Thedooropenedacrack.Mysupervisorhissed,「MissWhite!Haveyoucompletedallofyourworkandf?inishedcharting?」
「Almost,MissStickleby.」
「It』snearlytimetogooffduty.Putthebabydownnow.Checkonyourotherpatients,andthengohelpMissNelson.Ibelieveshehadanextrapatienttoday.」ThedoorclosedbeforeIcouldanswer.SuzieNelsondidnothaveanextrapatient.Idid.SuziewasassignedasJimmy』snurse,butIaskedtohavehimaddedtomypatientload.IwantedtheextratimewithhimsinceI』dbeonvacationthenextthreedays.
Deliberately,Idawdled,massaginghisthinlittlelegs,playingpeek-a-boowithhisyellowduckyblanket,urginggurglinggigglesbetweenhisraspybreaths.
Aloudtaprattledthewardwindow.Stickleby.
Backatthenurse』sstation,MissSticklebyglaredasIsignedoffJimmy』schart.Whowassheanyway?Iwondered.Westudentscouldn』tfaultherasateacherandsupervisor.Shesawtoitthatwewereallasconscientiousinourdutiesasshewas.Butalthoughthehospitalpolicyencouragedstaffandstudentstohold,playwith,readandtalktoallthechildreninourcare,weneversawhercooingoverababyorreadingtoatoddler.
Iwavedgood-byetoJimmy』sroomasIhurriedoffduty,excitedtohaveamountainoffun.Butatthesametime,Iwaseagertoreturntomybright-eyed,nearlyrecoveredJimmy.
Holidayover,IrushedbacktoworkandeagerlypeekedthroughJimmy』swindowonmywaytothewardstation.Hiscribwascleanandempty.
「WheredidyoumoveJimmy?」Iaskedthenightnurse.
「Oh,hediedSaturdaynight.Didn』tyouknow?」Suchacasualanswer.
Mybodyturnedtoclabberedmilk.Ifellintothechair,crushingthetoybag.
「I』msorry,Joy.Hewassuchaspeciallittlekid.」Shereleasedalong,exhaustedsigh.「Saturdaynightwasabadnight.」
Beyondconsolation,Istumbledintothenurse』sloungewhereIcouldreleaseagreatwashoftears.
「MissWhite!」ItwasStickleby』sclipped,sternvoice.「Timeforreport.Dryyoureyesandgetonduty.Now,please.」
AlloftheemotionIfeltforJimmypouredoutlikeboilingoiloverthiscold,unfeelingwoman.
「Howcanyoubesouncaring?」Iyelled.「It』sbadenoughthatJimmy』sbeautifullittlelifeissnuffedout,buthedidn』tevenhaveamamatocomforthimortocarethathedied.Andyou?Doyoucareabouthimoranyotherlittlelife?No!Just,『MissWhite,gotowork.Pretendeverythingisthesame.』Well,itisn』tthesame.Icare!Ilovedthatlittleboy!』
Tearsspattereddownthefrontofmyuniform.