ThePowerofSmile
戴爾·卡耐基/DaleCarnegie
戴爾·卡耐基（1888—1955），美國著名的心理學家和人際關係學家。卡耐基開創的「人際關係訓練班」遍佈世界各地。他以超人的智慧、嚴謹的思維，在道德、精神和行為準則上指導萬千讀者，給予人們安慰、鼓舞，使讀者從中汲取力量，從而生活，開創嶄新的人生。早期著作《人性的光輝》《語言的突破》《美好的人生》《人性的優點》曾被譯成28種文字，其中《人性的弱點》一書，是繼《聖經》之後世界出版史上第二暢銷書！
AceintheHole
Understandthesenewwordsbeforeyoureadthisarticle.
1.grouchn.不高興的人
2.eliminatev.清除
3.miserableadj.痛苦的
Youmusthaveagoodtimemeetingpeopleifyouexpectthemtohaveagoodtimemeetingyou.
Ihaveaskedthousandsofbusinesspeopletosmileatsomeoneeveryhourofthedayforaweekandthencometoclassandtalkabouttheresults.Howdiditwork?Let』sseeHereisaletterfromWilliamB.Steinhardt,aNewYorkstockbroker.Hiscaseisn'tisolated.Infact,itistypicalofhundredsofcases.
「Ihavebeenmarriedforovereighteenyears,」wroteMr.Steinhardt,「andinallthattimeIseldomsmiledatmywifeorspoketwodozenwordstoherfromthetimeIgotupuntilIwasreadytoleaveforbusiness.IwasoneoftheworstgroucheswhoeverwalkeddownBroadway.
「Whenyouaskedmetomakeatalkaboutmyexperiencewithsmiles,IthoughtIwouldtryitforaweek.Sothenextmorning,whilecombingmyhair,Ilookedatmyglummuginthemirrorandsaidtomyself,『Bill,youaregoingtowipethescowloffthatsourpussofyourstoday.Youaregoingtosmile.Andyouaregoingtobeginrightnow.』AsIsatdowntobreakfast,Igreetedmywifewitha『Goodmorning,mydear』,andsmiledasIsaidit.」
「Youwarnedmethatshemightbesurprised.Well,youunderestimatedherreaction.Shewasbewildered.Shewasshocked.Itoldherthatinthefutureshecouldexpectthisasaregularoccurrence,andIkeptitupeverymorning.」
「ThischangedattitudeofminebroughtmorehappinessintoourhomeinthetwomonthssinceIstartedthantherewasduringthelastyear.」
「AsIleaveformyoffice,Igreettheelevatoroperatorintheapartmenthousewitha『Goodmorning』andasmile;Igreetthedoormanwithasmile.IsmileatthecashierinthesubwayboothwhenIaskforchange.AsIstandontheflooroftheStockExchange,Ismileatpeoplewhountilrecentlyneversawmesmile.」
「Isoonfoundthateverybodywassmilingbackatme,Itreatthosewhocometomewithcomplaintsorgrievancesinacheerfulmanner,IsmileasIlistentothemandIfindthatadjustmentsareaccomplishedmucheasier.Ifindthatsmilesarebringingmedollars,manydollarseveryday.」
「Isharemyofficewithanotherbroker.Oneofhisclerksisalikableyoungchap,andIwassoelatedabouttheresultsIwasgettingthatItoldhimrecentlyaboutmynewphilosophyofhumanrelations.HethenconfessedthatwhenIfirstcametosharemyofficewithhisfirmhethoughtmeaterriblegrouch—andonlyrecentlychangedhismind.HesaidIwasreallyhumanwhenIsmiled.」
「Ihavealsoeliminatedcriticismfrommysystem.Igiveappreciationandpraisenowinsteadofcondemnation.IhavestoppedtalkingaboutwhatIwant.Iamnowtryingtoseetheotherperson』sviewpoint.Andthesethingshaveliterallyrevolutionizedmylife.Iamatotallydifferentman,ahappierman,aricherman,richerinfriendshipsandhappiness—theonlythingsthatmattermuchafterall.」
Youdon』tfeellikesmiling?Thenwhat?Twothings.First,forceyourselftosmile.Ifyouarealone,forceyourselftowhistleorhumatuneorsing.Actasifyouwerealreadyhappy,andthatwilltendtomakeyouhappy.HereisthewaythepsychologistandphilosopherWilliamJamesputit:
Actionseemstofollowfeeling,butreallyactionandfeelinggotogether;andbyregulatingtheaction,whichisunderthemoredirectcontrolofthewill,wecanindirectlyregulatethefeeling,whichisnot.
Thusthesovereignvoluntarypathtocheerfulness,ifourcheerfulnessbelost,istositupcheerfullyandtoactandspeakasifcheerfulnesswerealreadythere…
Everybodyintheworldisseekinghappiness—andthereisonesurewaytofindit.Thatisbycontrollingyourthoughts.Happinessdoesn』tdependonoutwardconditions.Itdependsoninnerconditions.
Itisn』twhatyouhaveorwhoyouareorwhereyouareorwhatyouaredoingthatmakesyouhappyorunhappy.Itiswhatyouthinkaboutit.Forexample,twopeoplemaybeinthesameplace,doingthesamething;bothmayhaveaboutanequalamountofmoneyandprestige—andyetonemaybemiserableandtheotherhappy.Why?Becauseofadifferentmentalattitude.IhaveseenjustasmanyhappyfacesamongthepoorpeasantstoilingwiththeirprimitivetoolsinthedevastatingheatofthetropicsasIhaveseeninair-conditionedofficesinNewYork,ChicagoorLosAngeles.
「Thereisnothingeithergoodorbad,」saidShakespeare,「butthinkingmakesitso.」
AbeLincolnonceremarkedthat「mostfolksareaboutashappyastheymakeuptheirmindstobe」.Hewasright.
Wheneveryougoout-of-doors,drawthechinin,carrythecrownoftheheadhigh,andfillthelungstotheutmost;drinkinthesunshine;greetyourfriendswithasmile,andputsoulintoeveryhandclasp.Donotfearbeingmisunderstoodanddonotwasteaminutethinkingaboutyourenemies.