That'sWhatFriendsDo
蘇珊娜·埃勒/SuzanneEller
Jacktossedthepapersonmydesk—hiseyebrowsknitintoastraightlineasheglaredatme.
「What』swrong?」Iasked.
Hejabbedafingerattheproposal.「Nexttimeyouwanttochangeanything,askmefirst,」hesaid,turningonhisheelsandleavingmestewinginanger.
Howdarehetreatmelikethat,Ithought.Ihadchangedonelongsentence,andcorrectedgrammar—somethingIthoughtIwaspaidtodo.
It』snotthatIhadn』tbeenwarned.Theotherwomen,whohadservedinmyplacebeforeme,calledhimnamesIcouldn』trepeat.Oneco-workertookmeasidethefirstday.「He』spersonallyresponsiblefortwodifferentsecretariesleavingthefirm,」shewhispered.
Astheweekswentby,IgrewtodespiseJack.ItwasagainsteverythingIbelievedin—turntheothercheekandloveyourenemies.ButJackquicklyslappedaverbalinsultonanycheekturnedhisway.Iprayedaboutit,buttobehonest,Iwantedtoputhiminhisplace,notlovehim.
Oneday,anotherofhisepisodesleftmeintears.Istormedintohisoffice,preparedtolosemyjobifneeded,butnotbeforeIletthemanknowhowIfelt.IopenedthedoorandJackglancedup.
「What?」hesaidabruptly.
SuddenlyIknewwhatIhadtodo.Afterall,hedeservedit.
Isatacrossfromhim.「Jack,thewayyou』vebeentreatingmeiswrong.I』veneverhadanyonespeaktomethatway.Asaprofessional,it』swrong,andit』swrongformetoallowittocontinue,」Isaid.
Jacksnickerednervouslyandleanedbackinhischair.Iclosedmyeyesbriefly.Godhelpme,Iprayed.
「Iwanttomakeyouapromise.Iwillbeafriend,」Isaid,「Iwilltreatyouasyoudeservetobetreated,withrespectandkindness.Youdeservethat,」Isaid.「Everybodydoes.」Islippedoutofthechairandclosedthedoorbehindme.
Jackavoidedmetherestoftheweek.Proposals,specs,andlettersappearedonmydeskwhileIwasatlunch,andthecorrectedversionswerenotseenagain.IbroughtcookiestotheofficeonedayandleftabatchonJack』sdesk.AnotherdayIleftanote.「Hopeyourdayisgoinggreat,」itread.
Overthenextfewweeks,Jackreappeared.Hewasreserved,buttherewerenootherepisodes.Co-workerscorneredmeinthebreakroom.
「GuessyougottoJack,」theysaid,「Youmusthavetoldhimoffgood.」Ishookmyhead.「JackandIarebecomingfriends,」Isaidinfaith.Irefusedtotalkabouthim.EverytimeIsawJackinthehall,Ismiledathim.Afterall,that』swhatfriendsdo.
Oneyearafterour「talk」,IdiscoveredIhadbreastcancer.Iwas32,themotherofthreebeautifulyoungchildren,andscared.Thecancerhadmetastasizedtomylymphnodesandthestatisticswerenotgreatforlong-termsurvival.Aftersurgery,Ivisitedwithfriendsandlovedoneswhotriedtofindtherightwordstosay.Nooneknewwhattosay.Manysaidthewrongthings.Otherswept,andItriedtoencouragethem.Iclungtohope.
Thelastdayofmyhospitalstay,thedoordarkenedandJackstoodawkwardlyonthethreshold.Iwavedhiminwithasmileandhewalkedovertomybedand,withoutaword,placedabundlebesideme.Insidelayseveralbulbs.
「Tulips,」hesaid.
Ismiled,notunderstanding.