THE past is all of one texture - whether feigned or suffered - whether acted
out in three dimensions, or only witnessed in that small theatre of the brain
which we keep brightly lighted all night long, after the jets are down, and
darkness and sleep reign undisturbed in the remainder of the body. There is no
distinction on the face of our experiences; one is vivid indeed, and one dull,
and one pleasant, and another agonising to remember; but which of them is what
we call true, and which a dream, there is not one hair to prove. The past stands
on a precarious footing; another straw split in the field of metaphysic, and
behold us robbed of it. There is scarce a family that can count four generations
but lays a claim to some dormant title or some castle and estate: a claim not
prosecutable in any court of law, but flattering to the fancy and a great
alleviation of idle hours. A man's claim to his own past is yet less valid. A
paper might turn up (in proper story-book fashion) in the secret drawer of an
old ebony secretary, and restore your family to its ancient honours, and
reinstate mine in a certain West Indian islet (not far from St. Kitt's, as
beloved tradition hummed in my young ears) which was once ours, and is now
unjustly some one else's, and for that matter (in the state of the sugar trade)
is not worth anything to anybody. I do not say that these revolutions are
likely; only no man can deny that they are possible; and the past, on the other
baud, is, lost for ever: our old days and deeds, our old selves, too, and the
very world in which these scenes were acted, all brought down to the same faint
residuum as a last night's dream, to some incontinuous images, and an echo in
the chambers of the brain. Not an hour, not a mood, not a glance of the eye, can
we revoke; it is all gone, past conjuring. And yet conceive us robbed of it,
conceive that little thread of memory that we trail behind us broken at the
pocket's edge; and in what naked nullity should we be left! for we only guide
ourselves, and only know ourselves, by these air-painted pictures of the past.
Upon these grounds, there are some among us who claim to have lived longer
and more richly than their neighbours; when they lay asleep they claim they were
still active; and among the treasures of memory that all men review for their
amusement, these count in no second place the harvests of their dreams. There is
one of this kind whom I have in my eye, and whose case is perhaps unusual enough
to be described. He was from a child an ardent and uncomfortable dreamer. When
he had a touch of fever at night, and the room swelled and shrank, and his
clothes, hanging on a nail, now loomed up instant to the bigness of a church,
and now drew away into a horror of infinite distance and infinite littleness,
the poor soul was very well aware of what must follow, and struggled hard
against the approaches of that slumber which was the beginning of sorrows.
But his struggles were in vain; sooner or later the night-hag would have him
by the throat, and pluck him strangling and screaming, from his sleep. His
dreams were at times commonplace enough, at times very strange, at times they
were almost formless: he would be haunted, for instance, by nothing more
definite than a certain hue of brown, which he did not mind in the least while
he was awake, but feared and loathed while he was dreaming; at times, again,
they took on every detail of circumstance, as when once he supposed he must
swallow the populous world, and awoke screaming with the horror of the thought.
The two chief troubles of his very narrow existence - the practical and everyday
trouble of school tasks and the ultimate and airy one of hell and judgment -
were often confounded together into one appalling nightmare. He seemed to
himself to stand before the Great White Throne; he was called on, poor little
devil, to recite some form of words, on which his destiny depended; his tongue
stuck, his memory was blank, hell gaped for him; and he would awake, clinging to
the curtain-rod with his knees to his chin.
These were extremely poor experiences, on the whole; and at that time of life
my dreamer would have very willingly parted with his power of dreams. But
presently, in the course of his growth, the cries and physical contortions
passed away, seemingly for ever; his visions were still for the most part
miserable, but they were more constantly supported; and he would awake with no
more extreme symptom than a flying heart, a freezing scalp, cold sweats, and the
speechless midnight fear. His dreams, too, as befitted a mind better stocked
with particulars, became more circumstantial, and had more the air and
continuity of life. The look of the world beginning to take hold on his
attention, scenery came to play a part in his sleeping as well as in his waking
thoughts, so that he would take long, uneventful journeys and see strange towns
and beautiful places as he lay in bed. And, what is more significant, an odd
taste that he had for the Georgian costume and for stories laid in that period
of English history, began to rule the features of his dreams; so that he
masqueraded there in a three-cornered hat and was much engaged with Jacobite
conspiracy between the hour for bed and that for breakfast. About the same time,
he began to read in his dreams - tales, for the most part, and for the most part
after the manner of G. P. R. James, but so incredibly more vivid and moving than
any printed book, that he has ever since been malcontent with literature.
And then, while he was yet a student, there came to him a dream- adventure
which he has no anxiety to repeat; he began, that is to say, to dream in
sequence and thus to lead a double life - one of the day, one of the night - one
that he had every reason to believe was the true one, another that he had no
means of proving to be false. I should have said he studied, or was by way of
studying, at Edinburgh College, which (it may be supposed) was how I came to
know him. Well, in his dream-life, he passed a long day in the surgical theatre,
his heart in his mouth, his teeth on edge, seeing monstrous malformations and
the abhorred dexterity of surgeons. In a heavy, rainy, foggy evening he came
forth into the South Bridge, turned up the High Street, and entered the door of
a tall LAND, at the top of which he supposed himself to lodge. All night long,
in his wet clothes, he climbed the stairs, stair after stair in endless series,
and at every second flight a flaring lamp with a reflector. All night long, he
brushed by single persons passing downward - beggarly women of the street,
great, weary, muddy labourers, poor scarecrows of men, pale parodies of women -
but all drowsy and weary like himself, and all single, and all brushing against
him as they passed. In the end, out of a northern window, he would see day
beginning to whiten over the Firth, give up the ascent, turn to descend, and in
a breath be back again upon the streets, in his wet clothes, in the wet, haggard
dawn, trudging to another day of monstrosities and operations. Time went quicker
in the life of dreams, some seven hours (as near as he can guess) to one; and it
went, besides, more intensely, so that the gloom of these fancied experiences
clouded the day, and he had not shaken off their shadow ere it was time to lie
down and to renew them. I cannot tell how long it was that he endured this
discipline; but it was long enough to leave a great black blot upon his memory,
long enough to send him, trembling for his reason, to the doors of a certain
doctor; whereupon with a simple draught he was restored to the common lot of
man.
The poor gentleman has since been troubled by nothing of the sort; indeed,
his nights were for some while like other men's, now blank, now chequered with
dreams, and these sometimes charming, sometimes appalling, but except for an
occasional vividness, of no extraordinary kind. I will just note one of these
occasions, ere I pass on to what makes my dreamer truly interesting. It seemed
to him that he was in the first floor of a rough hill-farm. The room showed some
poor efforts at gentility, a carpet on the floor, a piano, I think, against the
wall; but, for all these refinements, there was no mistaking he was in a
moorland place, among hillside people, and set in miles of heather. He looked
down from the window upon a bare farmyard, that seemed to have been long
disused. A great, uneasy stillness lay upon the world. There was no sign of the
farm-folk or of any live stock, save for an old, brown, curly dog of the
retriever breed, who sat close in against the wall of the house and seemed to be
dozing. Something about this dog disquieted the dreamer; it was quite a nameless
feeling, for the beast looked right enough - indeed, he was so old and dull and
dusty and broken-down, that he should rather have awakened pity; and yet the
conviction came and grew upon the dreamer that this was no proper dog at all,
but something hellish. A great many dozing summer flies hummed about the yard;
and presently the dog thrust forth his paw, caught a fly in his open palm,
carried it to his mouth like an ape, and looking suddenly up at the dreamer in
the window, winked to him with one eye. The dream went on, it matters not how it
went; it was a good dream as dreams go; but there was nothing in the sequel
worthy of that devilish brown dog. And the point of interest for me lies partly
in that very fact: that having found so singular an incident, my imperfect
dreamer should prove unable to carry the tale to a fit end and fall back on
indescribable noises and indiscriminate horrors. It would be different now; he
knows his business better!
For, to approach at last the point: This honest fellow had long been in the
custom of setting himself to sleep with tales, and so had his father before him;
but these were irresponsible inventions, told for the teller's pleasure, with no
eye to the crass public or the thwart reviewer: tales where a thread might be
dropped, or one adventure quitted for another, on fancy's least suggestion. So
that the little people who manage man's internal theatre had not as yet received
a very rigorous training; and played upon their stage like children who should
have slipped into the house and found it empty, rather than like drilled actors
performing a set piece to a huge hall of faces. But presently my dreamer began
to turn his former amusement of story-telling to (what is called) account; by
which I mean that he began to write and sell his tales. Here was he, and here
were the little people who did that part of his business, in quite new
conditions. The stories must now be trimmed and pared and set upon all fours,
they must run from a beginning to an end and fit (after a manner) with the laws
of life; the pleasure, in one word, had become a business; and that not only for
the dreamer, but for the little people of his theatre. These understood the
change as well as he. When he lay down to prepare himself for sleep, he no
longer sought amusement, but printable and profitable tales; and after he had
dozed off in his box-seat, his little people continued their evolutions with the
same mercantile designs. All other forms of dream deserted him but two: he still
occasionally reads the most delightful books, he still visits at times the most
delightful places; and it is perhaps worthy of note that to these same places,
and to one in particular, he returns at intervals of months and years, finding
new field-paths, visiting new neighbours, beholding that happy valley under new
effects of noon and dawn and sunset. But all the rest of the family of visions
is quite lost to him: the common, mangled version of yesterday's affairs, the
raw-head-and-bloody-bones nightmare, rumoured to be the child of toasted cheese
- these and their like are gone; and, for the most part, whether awake or
asleep, he is simply occupied - he or his little people - in consciously making
stories for the market. This dreamer (like many other persons) has encountered
some trifling vicissitudes of fortune. When the bank begins to send letters and
the butcher to linger at the back gate, he sets to belabouring his brains after
a story, for that is his readiest money-winner; and, behold! at once the little
people begin to bestir themselves in the same quest, and labour all night long,
and all night long set before him truncheons of tales upon their lighted
theatre. No fear of his being frightened now; the flying heart and the frozen
scalp are things by-gone; applause, growing applause, growing interest, growing
exultation in his own cleverness (for he takes all the credit), and at last a
jubilant leap to wakefulness, with the cry, "I have it, that'll do!" upon his
lips: with such and similar emotions he sits at these nocturnal dramas, with
such outbreaks, like Claudius in the play, he scatters the performance in the
midst. Often enough the waking is a disappointment: he has been too deep asleep,
as I explain the thing; drowsiness has gained his little people, they have gone
stumbling and maundering through their parts; and the play, to the awakened
mind, is seen to be a tissue of absurdities. And yet how often have these
sleepless Brownies done him honest service, and given him, as he sat idly taking
his pleasure in the boxes, better tales than he could fashion for himself.
Here is one, exactly as it came to him. It seemed he was the son of a very
rich and wicked man, the owner of broad acres and a most damnable temper. The
dreamer (and that was the son) had lived much abroad, on purpose to avoid his
parent; and when at length he returned to England, it was to find him married
again to a young wife, who was supposed to suffer cruelly and to loathe her
yoke. Because of this marriage (as the dreamer indistinctly understood) it was
desirable for father and son to have a meeting; and yet both being proud and
both angry, neither would condescend upon a visit. Meet they did accordingly, in
a desolate, sandy country by the sea; and there they quarrelled, and the son,
stung by some intolerable insult, struck down the father dead. No suspicion was
aroused; the dead man was found and buried, and the dreamer succeeded to the
broad estates, and found himself installed under the same roof with his father's
widow, for whom no provision had been made. These two lived very much alone, as
people may after a bereavement, sat down to table together, shared the long
evenings, and grew daily better friends; until it seemed to him of a sudden that
she was prying about dangerous matters, that she had conceived a notion of his
guilt, that she watched him and tried him with questions. He drew back from her
company as men draw back from a precipice suddenly discovered; and yet so strong
was the attraction that he would drift again and again into the old intimacy,
and again and again be startled back by some suggestive question or some
inexplicable meaning in her eye. So they lived at cross purposes, a life full of
broken dialogue, challenging glances, and suppressed passion; until, one day, he
saw the woman slipping from the house in a veil, followed her to the station,
followed her in the train to the seaside country, and out over the sandhills to
the very place where the murder was done. There she began to grope among the
bents, he watching her, flat upon his face; and presently she had something in
her hand - I cannot remember what it was, but it was deadly evidence against the
dreamer - and as she held it up to look at it, perhaps from the shock of the
discovery, her foot slipped, and she hung at some peril on the brink of the tall
sand-wreaths. He had no thought but to spring up and rescue her; and there they
stood face to face, she with that deadly matter openly in her hand - his very
presence on the spot another link of proof. It was plain she was about to speak,
but this was more than he could bear - he could bear to be lost, but not to talk
of it with his destroyer; and he cut her short with trivial conversation. Arm in
arm, they returned together to the train, talking he knew not what, made the
journey back in the same carriage, sat down to dinner, and passed the evening in
the drawing-room as in the past. But suspense and fear drummed in the dreamer's
bosom. "She has not denounced me yet" - so his thoughts ran - "when will she
denounce me? Will it be to- morrow?" And it was not to-morrow, nor the next day,
nor the next; and their life settled back on the old terms, only that she seemed
kinder than before, and that, as for him, the burthen of his suspense and wonder
grew daily more unbearable, so that he wasted away like a man with a disease.
Once, indeed, he broke all bounds of decency, seized an occasion when she was
abroad, ransacked her room, and at last, hidden away among her jewels, found the
damning evidence. There he stood, holding this thing, which was his life, in the
hollow of his hand, and marvelling at her inconsequent behaviour, that she
should seek, and keep, and yet not use it; and then the door opened, and behold
herself. So, once more, they stood, eye to eye, with the evidence between them;
and once more she raised to him a face brimming with some communication; and
once more he shied away from speech and cut her off. But before he left the
room, which he had turned upside down, he laid back his death- warrant where he
had found it; and at that, her face lighted up. The next thing he heard, she was
explaining to her maid, with some ingenious falsehood, the disorder of her
things. Flesh and blood could bear the strain no longer; and I think it was the
next morning (though chronology is always hazy in the theatre of the mind) that
he burst from his reserve. They had been breakfasting together in one corner of
a great, parqueted, sparely-furnished room of many windows; all the time of the
meal she had tortured him with sly allusions; and no sooner were the servants
gone, and these two protagonists alone together, than he leaped to his feet. She
too sprang up, with a pale face; with a pale face, she heard him as he raved out
his complaint: Why did she torture him so? she knew all, she knew he was no
enemy to her; why did she not denounce him at once? what signified her whole
behaviour? why did she torture him? and yet again, why did she torture him? And
when he had done, she fell upon her knees, and with outstretched hands: "Do you
not understand?" she cried. "I love you!"
Hereupon, with a pang of wonder and mercantile delight, the dreamer awoke.
His mercantile delight was not of long endurance; for it soon became plain that
in this spirited tale there were unmarketable elements; which is just the reason
why you have it here so briefly told. But his wonder has still kept growing; and
I think the reader's will also, if he consider it ripely. For now he sees why I
speak of the little people as of substantive inventors and performers. To the
end they had kept their secret. I will go bail for the dreamer (having excellent
grounds for valuing his candour) that he had no guess whatever at the motive of
the woman - the hinge of the whole well-invented plot - until the instant of
that highly dramatic declaration. It was not his tale; it was the little
people's! And observe: not only was the secret kept, the story was told with
really guileful craftsmanship. The conduct of both actors is (in the cant
phrase) psychologically correct, and the emotion aptly graduated up to the
surprising climax. I am awake now, and I know this trade; and yet I cannot
better it. I am awake, and I live by this business; and yet I could not outdo -
could not perhaps equal - that crafty artifice (as of some old, experienced
carpenter of plays, some Dennery or Sardou) by which the same situation is twice
presented and the two actors twice brought face to face over the evidence, only
once it is in her hand, once in his - and these in their due order, the least
dramatic first. The more I think of it, the more I am moved to press upon the
world my question: Who are the Little People? They are near connections of the
dreamer's, beyond doubt; they share in his financial worries and have an eye to
the bank-book; they share plainly in his training; they have plainly learned
like him to build the scheme of a considerate story and to arrange emotion in
progressive order; only I think they have more talent; and one thing is beyond
doubt, they can tell him a story piece by piece, like a serial, and keep him all
the while in ignorance of where they aim. Who are they, then? and who is the
dreamer?
Well, as regards the dreamer, I can answer that, for he is no less a person
than myself; - as I might have told you from the beginning, only that the
critics murmur over my consistent egotism; - and as I am positively forced to
tell you now, or I could advance but little farther with my story. And for the
Little People, what shall I say they are but just my Brownies, God bless them!
who do one-half my work for me while I am fast asleep, and in all human
likelihood, do the rest for me as well, when I am wide awake and fondly suppose
I do it for myself. That part which is done while I am sleeping is the Brownies'
part beyond contention; but that which is done when I am up and about is by no
means necessarily mine, since all goes to show the Brownies have a hand in it
even then. Here is a doubt that much concerns my conscience. For myself - what I
call I, my conscious ego, the denizen of the pineal gland unless he has changed
his residence since Descartes, the man with the conscience and the variable
bank-account, the man with the hat and the boots, and the privilege of voting
and not carrying his candidate at the general elections - I am sometimes tempted
to suppose he is no story-teller at all, but a creature as matter of fact as any
cheesemonger or any cheese, and a realist bemired up to the ears in actuality;
so that, by that account, the whole of my published fiction should be the
single-handed product of some Brownie, some Familiar, some unseen collaborator,
whom I keep locked in a back garret, while I get all the praise and he but a
share (which I cannot prevent him getting) of the pudding. I am an excellent
adviser, something like Moliere's servant; I pull back and I cut down; and I
dress the whole in the best words and sentences that I can find and make; I hold
the pen, too; and I do the sitting at the table, which is about the worst of it;
and when all is done, I make up the manuscript and pay for the registration; so
that, on the whole, I have some claim to share, though not so largely as I do,
in the profits of our common enterprise.
I can but give an instance or so of what part is done sleeping and what part
awake, and leave the reader to share what laurels there are, at his own nod,
between myself and my collaborators; and to do this I will first take a book
that a number of persons have been
polite enough to read, the STRANGE CASE OF DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE. I had
long been trying to write a story on this subject, to find a body, a vehicle,
for that strong sense of man's double being which must at times come in upon and
overwhelm the mind of every thinking creature. I had even written one, THE
TRAVELLING COMPANION, which was returned by an editor on the plea that it was a
work of genius and indecent, and which I burned the other day on the ground that
it was not a work of genius, and that JEKYLL had supplanted it. Then came one of
those financial fluctuations to which (with an elegant modesty) I have hitherto
referred in the third person. For two days I went about racking my brains for a
plot of any sort; and on the second night I dreamed the scene at the window, and
a scene afterward split in two, in which Hyde, pursued for some crime, took the
powder and underwent the change in the presence of his pursuers. All the rest
was made awake, and consciously, although I think I can trace in much of it the
manner of my Brownies. The meaning of the tale is therefore mine, and had long
pre-existed in my garden of Adonis, and tried one body after another in vain;
indeed, I do most of the morality, worse luck! and my Brownies have not a
rudiment of what we call a conscience. Mine, too, is the setting, mine the
characters. All that was given me was the matter of three scenes, and the
central idea of a voluntary change becoming involuntary. Will it be thought
ungenerous, after I have been so liberally ladling out praise to my unseen
collaborators, if I here toss them over, bound hand and foot, into the arena of
the critics? For the business of the powders, which so many have censured, is, I
am relieved to say, not mine at all but the Brownies'. Of another tale, in case
the reader should have glanced at it, I may say a word: the not very defensible
story of OLALLA. Here the court, the mother, the mother's niche, Olalla,
Olalla's chamber, the meetings on the stair, the broken window, the ugly scene
of the bite, were all given me in bulk and detail as I have tried to write them;
to this I added only the external scenery (for in my dream I never was beyond
the court), the portrait, the characters of Felipe and the priest, the moral,
such as it is, and the last pages, such as, alas! they are. And I may even say
that in this case the moral itself was given me; for it arose immediately on a
comparison of the mother and the daughter, and from the hideous trick of atavism
in the first. Sometimes a parabolic sense is still more undeniably present in a
dream; sometimes I cannot but suppose my Brownies have been aping Bunyan, and
yet in no case with what would possibly be called a moral in a tract; never with
the ethical narrowness; conveying hints instead of life's larger limitations and
that sort of sense which we seem to perceive in the arabesque of time and space.
For the most part, it will be seen, my Brownies are somewhat fantastic, like
their stories hot and hot, full of passion and the picturesque, alive with
animating incident; and they have no prejudice against the supernatural. But the
other day they gave me a surprise, entertaining me with a love-story, a little
April comedy, which I ought certainly to hand over to the author of A CHANCE
ACQUAINTANCE, for he could write it as it should be written, and I am sure
(although I mean to try) that I cannot. - But who would have supposed that a
Brownie of mine should invent a tale for Mr. Howells?
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