Whilesettlingthispoint,Elisabethwassuddenlyrousedbythesoundofthedoorbell,andherspiritswerealittleflutteredbytheideaofitsbeingColonelFitzwilliamhimself,whohadoncebeforecalledlateintheevening,andmightnowcometoenquireparticularlyafterher.Butthisideawassoonbanished,andherspiritswereverydifferentlyaffected,when,toherutteramazement,shesawMr.Darcywalkintotheroom.Inahurriedmannerheimmediatelybegananenquiryafterherhealth,imputinghisvisittoawishofhearingthatshewasbetter.Sheansweredhimwithcoldcivility.Hesatdownforafewmoments,andthengettingup,walkedabouttheroom.Elizabethwassurprised,butsaidnotaword.Afterasilenceofseveralminutes,hecametowardsherinanagitatedmanner,andthusbegan,
「InvainhaveIstruggledItwillnotdo.Myfeelingswillnotberepressed.YoumustallowmetotellyouhowardentlyIadmireandloveyou.」
Elizabeth』sastonishmentwasbeyondexpression.Shestared,colored,doubted,andwassilent.Thisheconsideredsufficientencouragement,andtheavowalofallthathefeltandhadlongfeltforherimmediatelyfollowed.Hespokewell,buttherewerefeelingsbesidesthoseofthehearttobedetailed,andhewasnotmoreeloquentonthesubjectoftendernessthanofpride.Hissenseofherinferiority,ofitsbeingadegradation,ofthefamilyobstacleswhichjudgmenthadalwaysopposedtoinclination,weredweltonwithawarmthwhichseemedduetotheconsequencehewaswounding,butwasveryunlikelytorecommendhissuit.
Inspiteofherdeeply-rooteddislike,shecouldnotbeinsensibletothecomplimentofsuchaman』saffection,andthoughherintentionsdidnotvaryforaninstant,shewasatfirstsorryforthepainhewastoreceive;till,rousedtoresentmentbyhissubsequentlanguage,shelostallcompassioninanger.Shetried,however,tocomposeherselftoanswerhimwithpatience,whenheshouldhavedone.Heconcludedwithrepresentingtoherthestrengthofthatattachmentwhich,inspiteofallhisendeavour,hehadfoundimpossibletoconquer;andwithexpressinghishopethatitwouldnowberewardedbyheracceptanceofhishand.Ashesaidthis,shecouldeasilyseethathehadnodoubtofafavourableanswer.Hespokeofapprehensionandanxiety,buthiscountenanceexpressedrealsecurity.Suchacircumstancecouldonlyexasperatefarther,andwhenheceased,thecolourroseintohercheeks,andshesaid,
「Insuchcasesasthis,itis,Ibelieve,theestablishedmodetoexpressasenseofobligationforthesentimentsavowed,howeverunequallytheymaybereturned.Itisnaturalthatobligationshouldbefelt,andifIcouldfeelgratitude,Iwouldnowthankyou.ButIcannot-Ihaveneverdesiredyourgoodopinion,andyouhavecertainlybestoweditmostunwillingly.Iamsorrytohaveoccasionedpaintoanyone.Ithasbeenmostunconsciouslydone,however,andIhopewillbeofshortduration.Thefeelingswhich,youtellme,havelongpreventedtheacknowledgmentofyourregard,canhavelittledifficultyinovercomingitafterthisexplanation.」
伊麗莎白正在轉著這種念頭,突然聽到門鈴響,她以為是費茨威廉來了,心頭不由得跳起來,因為他有一天晚上就是來得很晚的,這回可能是特地來問候她。但是她立刻就知道猜錯了,出乎她的意料,走進屋來的是達西先生,於是她情緒上又是另一種感覺。他立刻匆匆忙忙問她身體好了沒有,又說他是特地來聽她復元的好消息的。她客客氣氣地敷衍了他一下。他坐了幾分鐘,就站起身來,在房間裡踱來踱去。伊麗莎白心裡很奇怪,可是嘴上一言未發。沉默了幾分鐘以後,他帶著激動的神態走到她跟前說:
「我實在沒有辦法死捱活撐下去了。這怎麼行。我的感情再也壓制不住了。請允許我告訴你,我多麼敬慕你,多麼愛你。」
伊麗莎白真是說不出的驚奇。她瞪著眼,紅著臉,滿腹狐疑,閉口不響。他看這情形,便認為她是在慫恿他講下去,於是立刻把目前和以往對她的種種好感全都和盤托出。他說得很動聽,除了傾訴愛情以外,又把其它種種感想也原原本本說出來了。他一方面千言萬語地表示深情密意,但是另一方面卻又說了許許多多傲慢無禮的話。他覺得她出身低微,覺得自己是遷就她,而且家庭方面的種種障礙,往往會使他的見解和他的心願不能相容並存——他這樣熱烈地傾訴,雖然顯出他這次舉動的慎重,卻未必能使他的求婚受到歡迎。
儘管她對他的厭惡之心根深蒂固,她究竟不能對這樣一個男人的一番盛情漠然無動於衷;雖說她的意志不曾有過片刻的動搖,可是她倒也體諒到他將會受到痛苦,因此頗感不安,然而他後來的那些話引起了她的怨恨,她那一片憐惜之心便完全化成了憤怒。不過,她還是竭力鎮定下來,以便等他把話說完,耐心地給他一個回答。未了,他跟她說,他對她的愛情是那麼強烈,儘管他一再努力克服,結果還是克服不了,他又向她表明自己的希望,說是希望她能接受他的求婚。她一下子就看出他說這些話的時候,顯然自認為她毫無問題會給他滿意的回答。他雖然口裡說他自己又怕又急,可是表情上卻是一副萬無一失的樣子。這只惹得她更加憤怒;等他講完話以後,她就紅著臉說:
「遇到這一類的事情,通常的方式是這樣的:人家對你一片好心好意,你即使不能給以同樣的報答,也得表示一番感激,我現在就得向你表示謝意。可惜我沒有這種感覺。我從來不稀罕你的抬舉,何況你抬舉我也是十分勉強。我從來不願意讓任何人感到痛苦,縱使惹得別人痛苦,也是絕對出於無心,而且我希望很快就會事過境遷。你跟我說,以前你顧慮到種種方面,因此沒有能夠向我表明你對我的好感,那麼,現在經過我這番解釋之後,你一定很容易把這種好感克制下來。」
InLove』sArms在愛的懷抱裡
「I』mgoingtomarryyouoneday.」BethsaidtoherlongtimecrushJake.Sheworeherfavoriteblueteddybearshirt.Herfour-year-oldblueeyesshinedinthesun.
「Noyou』renot,you』reagirl.」Jakesaid.
TheCaliforniaafternoonwindblewhislightbrownhair.Jumpingoffthemonkeybarshelaughedbacktoclass.
Sittingaloneandconfusedshedidn』tknowwhattodo.Bethsathighonthemonkeybarscrying.Howcanherfuturehusbandjustleavelikethat?
Shewasgoingtogethim,buthow?「Iwillnotlethimgetaway!Iwon』t!Iwon』t!」
15yearslater:
「Iloveyou,too,Jake.」Hangingupthephoneshecaughthermomsmiling.「What?」
「WhenishecominginfromFrance?He』sbeenthereforawhile.」Shesatdownonherblackleathercouch.ThehousewasmadeupofdifferentIndianstuff.Onthewallsweredifferentdreamcatchers.HermotherwasafullbloodCherokeeIndian.ShepassedawaywhenBethwaseight.
「Hehasalotofschoolingtodorightnow.MaybethisSaturday.」
FixinghershortoverallsshethoughtofJake.Whowouldhavethoughttheyweregoingtodatewhensheturnedfive?
「IshestilllivinginColorado?」HermotherKayworeawhitetanktopwithtanpants.Andlongblondehairwithprettyblueeyes.ShewasthemostbeautifulwomanonEarth.AndBethislookinglikeherbytheminute.
「Yeah,Ihatehavingalongdistancerelationship.」Sheploppedonaleatherchair.
「It』sokbaby,youknowhelovesyoumorethananythinginthisworld.Lovewillkeepyoutogether.」