TheweekIturned50,mymarriagecametoasuddenend.Myhouse,furnitureandeverythingI』downedwasauctionedofftopaydebtsIdidn』tevenknowexisted.InaweekIhadlostmyhusband,myhomeandmyparentswhorefusedtoacceptadivorceinthefamily.I』dlosteverythingexceptmyfourteenagechildren.IhadenoughmoneytorentacheapapartmentwhileIlookedforajoborIcoulduseeverypennyIhadtobuyfiveplaneticketsfromMissouritothemostremoteislandintheworld,thebigislandofHawaii.EveryonesaidIwascrazytothinkIcouldjustrunofftoanislandandsurvive.TheypredictedI』dcomecrawlingbackinamonth.Partofmewasafraidtheywereright.
Thenextday,myfourchildrenandIlandedonthebigislandofHawaiiwithlessthan$2,000,knowingnooneintheworldwasgoingtohelpus.Irentedanunfurnishedapartmentwherewesleptonthefloorandlivedoncereal.Iworkedthreejobsscrubbingfloorsonmyhandsandknees,sellingmacadamianutstotouristsandgatheringcoconuts.Iworked18hoursadayandlost30poundsbecauseIlivedononemealaday.Ihadpanicattacksthatleftmecurledintoaknotonthebathroomfloorshakinglikea1shell-shockedsoldier.
OnenightasIwalkedaloneonthebeach,IsawtheredorangeglowofthelavapouringoutofKilaueaVolcanointhedistance.Iwas1wadinginthePacificOcean,watchingtheworld』smostactivevolcano,andwastingthatincrediblemoment,becauseIwas1hauntedbythepast,exhaustedbythepresentandterrifiedofthefuture.I』dalmostachievedmychildhooddreambuthadn』trealizedit,becauseIwasfocusedonmyburdensinsteadofmyblessings.Itwastimetolivemyimaginationnotmyhistory.Tondalaya,theFireGoddessoftheVolcanohadfinallyarrived.
Thenextday,Iquitmyjobsandinvestedmylast1paycheckinartsuppliesandbegandoingwhatIloved.Ihadn』tpaintedapicturein15years,becausewebarelyscratchedoutalivingonthefarminMissouri,andtherehadn』tbeenmoneyforthetubesofpaint,andcanvasandframes.IwonderedifIcouldstillpaintorifIhadforgottenhow.MyhandstrembledthefirsttimeIpickedupabrush.Butbeforeanhourhadpassed,Iwaslostinthecolorsspreadingacrossthecanvasinfrontofme.IpaintedpicturesofoldsailingshipsandassoonasIstartedbelievinginmyself,otherpeoplestartedbelievinginme,too.Thefirstpaintingsoldfor$1,500beforeIevenhadtimetoframeit.
Thepastsixyearshavebeenfilledwithadventures.MychildrenandIhavegoneswimmingwith1dolphins,watched1whalesandhikedaroundthe1craterrimofthevolcano.Wewakeupeverymorningwiththeoceaninfrontofusandthevolcanobehindus.ThedreamIhadmorethan40yearsagoisnowreality.Iliveonanislandwithacontinuouslyeruptingvolcano.Theonlyanimalsinthejunglearewild1boarsandmongoosesandtherearen』tanycannibals.Butoftenintheevening,Icanhearthedrumsfromnativedancersonthebeach.
I』mfreeforthefirsttimeinmylife.IamTondalaya,theFireGoddessoftheVolcano,spelledwithtwo「D」sandI』mlivinghappilyeverafter.