Groupofalumni,highlyestablishedintheircareers,gottogethertovisittheirolduniversityprofessor.Theconversationsoonturnedintocomplaintsaboutstressinworkandinlife.Offeringhisguestscoffee,theprofessorwenttothekitchenandreturnedwithalargepotofcoffeeandanassortmentofcups-porcelain,plastic,glass,crystal,someplainlooking,someexpensive,someexquisite-tellingthemtohelpthemselvestothecoffee.
Whenallthestudentshadacupofcoffeeinhand,theprofessorsaid,「Ifyounoticed,allthenicelookingexpensivecupsweretakenup,leavingbehindtheplainandcheapones.Whileitisnormalforyoutowantonlythebestforyourselves,thatisthesourceofyourproblemsandstress.
Whatallofyoureallywantedwascoffee,notthecup,butyouconsciouslywentforthebestcupsandwereeyeingeachother』scups.
Nowconsiderthis:Lifeisthecoffeeandthejobs,moneyandpositioninsocietyarethecups.TheyarejusttoolstoholdandcontainLife,anddonotchangethequalityofLife.Sometimes,byconcentratingonlyonthecup,wefailtoenjoythecoffeeGodhasprovided.So,don』tletthecupsdriveyouenjoythecoffeeinstead.」
一群畢業生,各自的事業都已有所建樹,相約一起去看望他們的大學教授。談話一會兒就變成了各自對工作生活壓力的抱怨。教授去廚房端來一大壺咖啡招待這些客人,拿出各式各樣的咖啡杯——陶瓷的、塑料的、玻璃的、水晶的,有普通的、有價值不菲的、有做工精緻的——讓他們自己挑。
當所有學生手中都拿了咖啡杯之後,教授發話了:「如果你們注意一下,就可以發現所有好看的貴的杯子都給挑走了,剩下的只是那些普通的和便宜的。當然,每個人都想給自己挑到那個最好的,這很正常,但這也正是你們的問題和壓力根源之所在。
其實你們真正想要的是咖啡,而不是杯子,但你們卻又都下意識去挑選最好的杯子,並觀察別人拿到的杯子。
試想:如果生活是杯中的咖啡,工作、財富和社會地位就是那些杯子。它們只是維持生活的工具而已,並不改變生活質量。有時候,我們在過於關注杯子的同時卻忘了去品味上帝賜予的咖啡。所以,不要成為杯子的奴隸……好好地享受品味杯中的咖啡。」
HappinessIsaJourney幸福是一段旅程
Foralongtimeitseemedtomethatlifewasabouttobeginreallife.
But,therewasalwayssomeobstacleintheway,somethingtobegottenthroughfirst,someunfinishedbusiness,timestilltobeservedoradebttobepaid.Thenlifewouldbegin.
Atlastitdawnedonmethatthereisnowaytohappiness.Happinessistheway.
Sotreasureeverymomentthatyouhaveandtreasureitmorebecauseyoushareitwithsomeonespecial,someonespecialenoughtospendyourtimewith.
Makethemostofyourtime.Don』twastetoomuchofyourtimestudying,working,orstressingaboutsomethingthatseemsimportant.
Dowhatyouwanttodotobehappybutalsodowhatyoucantomakethepeopleyoucareabouthappy.Rememberthattimewaitsfornoone.
Sostopwaitinguntilyoutakeyourlasttest,untilyoufinishschool,untilyougobacktoschool,untilyouhavetheperfectbody,theperfectcar,orwhateverotherperfectthingyoudesire.
Stopwaitinguntiltheweekend,whenyoucanpartyorletloose,untilsummer,spring,fallorwinter,untilyoufindtherightpersonandgetmarried,untilyoudie,untilyourbornagain,todecidethatthereisnobettertimethanrightnowtobehappy.
Happinessisajourney,notadestination.
Solovelikeyouhaveneverbeenhurt,worklikeyoudon』tneedthemoney,anddancelikenoone』swatching.
很長一段時間我總覺得生命慎始。
但是得時無待,時不再來。生命無關途中際遇,兀自向前。
到底明白,幸福不在終點,幸福就是此生此路。
珍視每一寸光陰,珍視每一個共同度過的人。相信同伴就是一種珍貴。
惜時如金,莫要浪費揮霍。
時不我待,請懷著幸福感認真地為人處事。
完成人生必經的學業、事業的歷程,所有欲求,都在實踐。
明白幸福不在眼前,幸福就在腳下。何必等待「更好」的下一次,一切幸福都「正好」在此時。
幸福不在彼岸,幸福就是一種度過。
去愛吧,就像從沒有受傷過。起舞吧,從心所願。
HappinessIndicatorsinVariousStagesofLife人生各年齡層幸福感指標
Theupsanddownsoflifemayseemtohavenopredictableplan.Butscientistsnowknowthereareverydefinitepatternsthatalmostallpeopleshare.Evenifyou』vepassedsomeofyour「prime」,youstillhaveotherprimeyearstoexperienceinthefuture.Certainimportantprimesseemtopeaklaterinlife.
Whenareyousmartest?From18—25,accordingtoI.Q.scores;butyou』rewiserandmoreexperiencedwithincreasingage.
You』resharpestinyour20』s;around30,memorybeginstodecline,particularlyyourabilitytoperformmathematicalcomputations.ButyourI.Q.forothertasksclimbs.Yourvocabularyatage45,forexampleisthreetimesasgreataswhenyougraduatedfromcollege.At60,yourbrainpossessesalmostfourtimesasmuchinformationasitdidatage21.Thistrade-offbetweensharpnessandwisdomhasledpsychologiststosuggestthat「maturityquotients」(M.Q.)beadoptedforadults.
Whenareyouhappiest?Youhavethebestphysicalsenseofyourselffrom15to24;thebestprofessionalsensefrom40to49.
Beforeage24,webelievethatourhappiestyearsareyettocome;over30,webelievethatthey』rebehindus.ANationalHealthSurveyagrees:Afterage30,we「becomemorerealisticanddonotviewhappinessasagoalinitself.Ifwemaintainourhealth,achieveprofessionalandemotionalgoals,andthenhappiness,wefeel,willfollow」.
Whenareyoumostcreative?Generallybetween30and39,butthepeakvarieswithdifferentprofessions.
Mozartwroteasymphonyandfoursonatasbyageeight,andMendelssohncomposedhisbestknownworkAMidsummerNight』sDream,at17,butmostofthegreatmusicwaswrittenbymenbetween33and39.Thoughthepeakinmostfieldscomesearly—mostNobelPrizewinnersdidtheirtopresearchintheirlate20』sand30』s—creativepeoplecontinuetoproducequalityworkthroughouttheirlives.Forthe「well-conditionedmind」,thereisnoupperlimit.
人生的起伏似乎沒有可預知的模式,但是科學家現在發現有一些模式相當明確,絕大多數人都有不例外。即使你度過了一些最佳時期,你仍然會在將來經歷另外幾個最佳時期。某些最佳期時期似乎在生命的後半段才會到來。
什麼時候你最聰明?根據智商得分,你從15歲至25歲最聰明。然而,隨著年齡增長,你更加具有智慧和經驗。
20多歲的時候你的思維最敏捷;30歲左右,記憶力開始衰退,尤其是你的數學計算能力。然而,你做其他事情的智商提高了。例如45歲時你的詞彙量是你剛從大學畢業時的3倍。60歲時你大腦中儲存的信息幾乎是你21歲時的4倍。敏銳和智慧之間的協調,心理學家們就此提出了在成年人中採用「成熟商」這一概念。
什麼時候你的感覺最好?15歲至24歲之間你的身體感覺最好;40歲至49歲之間你對自己的職業感覺最佳。