ThinkMoreaboutWhatYouHave
Firstlistenandthenanswerthequestions.
1.Whenwillwefeelsatisfied?
2.Howtoenjoyyourselfwhenyouarefree?
OneofthemostpervasiveanddestructivementaltendenciesI’veseenisthatoffocusingonwhatwewantinsteadofwhatwehave.Itdoesn’tseemtomakeanydifferencehowmuchwehave;wejustkeepexpandingourlistofdesires,whichguaranteeswewillremaindissatisfied.Themind-setthatsays“I’llbehappywhenthisdesireisfulfilled”isthesamemind-setthatwillrepeatitselfoncethatdesireismet.
Wewantthisorthat.Ifwedon’tgetwhatwewant,wekeepthinkingaboutallthatwedon’thaveandweremaindissatisfied.Ifwedogetwhatwewant,wesimplyrecreatethesamethinkinginournewcircumstances.So,despitegettingwhatwewant,westillremainunhappy.Happinesscan’tbefoundwhenweareyearningfornewdesires.
Luckily,thereisawaytobehappy.Itinvolveschangingtheemphasisofourthinkingfromwhatwewanttowhatwehave.Ratherthanwishingyourspousewasdifferent,trythinkingaboutherwonderfulqualities.Insteadofcomplainingaboutyoursalary,begratefulthatyouhaveajob.RatherthanwishingyouwereabletotakeavacationtoHawaii,thinkofhowmuchfunyouhavehadclosetohome.Thelistofpossibilitiesisendless!Eachtimeyounoticeyourselffallingintothe“Iwishlifeweredifferent”trap,backoffandstartover.Takeabreathandrememberallthatyouhavetobegrateful.Whenyoufocusnotonwhatyouwant,butonwhatyouhave,youendupgettingmoreofwhatyouwantanyway.Ifyoufocusonthegoodqualitiesofyourspouse,she’llbemoreloving.Ifyouaregratefulforyourjobratherthancomplainingaboutit,you’lldoabetterjob,bemoreproductive,andprobablyendupgettingaraiseany-way.IfyoufocusonwaystoenjoyyourselfaroundhomeratherthanwaitingtoenjoyyourselfinHawaii,you’llenduphavingmorefun.IfyoueverdogettoHawaii,you’llbeinthehabitofenjoyingyourself.And,ifbysomechanceyoudon’t,you’llhaveagreatlifeanyway.
Makeanotetoyourselftostartthinkingmoreaboutwhatyouhavethanwhatyouwant.Ifyoudo,yourlifewillstartappearingmuchbetterthanbefore.Forperhapsthefirsttimeinyourlife,you’llknowwhatitmeanstofeelsatisfied.
專注於我們想得到的,而不是我們所擁有的,這是我見過的一種最具普遍性和破壞性的心理趨向。我們擁有多少,似乎並無太大區別,我們欲望的清單不斷擴充,使我們永遠不滿足。“當我實現了這個願望,就會快樂。”一旦這個欲望得到滿足,以後還會出現相同的欲求心理。
我們想要這個或那個。如果得不到,就會不斷地去想那些沒有的東西,總是感到不滿足。而如果得到了,在新的條件下,我們又產生同樣的心理。所以,盡管我們得到了,還是不開心。如果我們一味地渴求新的欲望,將無法找到幸福。
幸運的是,我們想要獲得幸福,有這樣一種方法:轉換我們思考的重心,從想要的轉移到擁有的。我們可以試著去想伴侶的可貴品質,而不去希求她該如何與現在不同;可以為自己擁有一份工作充滿感激,而不去抱怨薪水太低;可以設想閉門在家的種種樂趣,而不是渴望去夏威夷度假。可以這樣去考慮的事物無窮無盡!一旦你意識到自己又陷入這個思維陷阱:“我希望生活不是這樣”時,要退後一步,重新思考,深呼吸,想想你所擁有的。這樣,感激之情便會油然而生。當你關注的不再是自己想要的,而是所擁有的時,你最終得到的一定會比想要的更多;如果你關注伴侶的優秀品德,她就會更可愛;如果你對工作充滿感激,而不是抱怨,你會做得更好,工作效率更高,薪水也可能提高;如果你在家能自得其樂,而不是等著去夏威夷享受,你會找到更多的樂趣。假設你真的去了夏威夷,往往會更快樂,即使因為某種偶然沒能去成,仍然會過得開心。
記住,從現在開始,多想想你擁有的,而不是你想要的。如果你這樣做,你的生活就會比以前更美好,那種感受或許是你生命中的第一次,你將會懂得心滿意足的含義。
人生是否快樂,關鍵看你是否知足。俗話說欲壑難填,人的欲望是無止境的,一種欲望滿足了還會有更多的欲望滋生,若欲望太多太高,則永遠得不到滿足和快樂。在各種滿足不了的欲望面前,我們需要換一個角度去理解。要始終保持一顆平常心,看淡他人升遷;要耐得住寂寞,抗得住平淡。
LearningforBetterUnderstanding
Pleasefillintheblankswiththeproperwordsaccordingtothegiven
sentences.
1.Thereisa______towardsregionalcooperation.
有一種地區性合作的趨勢。
2.Youhavemy______thatIllfinishthejobontime.
我向你保證按時完成工作。
3.It’sthebestresultthatcouldbeexpectedunderthe______.
這是在這種情況下可以期望的最好結果。
4.He______tomeaboutthefood.
他向我抱怨伙食不佳。
ChunksinPractice
Listentothefollowingpassagetwiceandthenfillintheblankswith
appropriatewords.
1.wejustkeepexpandingourlistof,whichguaranteeswewillremaindissatisfied.Themind-setthatsays“I’llbehappywhenthisdesireis”isthesamemind-setthatwillitselfoncethatdesireismet.
2.IfyoufocusonwaystoenjoyyourselfaroundhomeratherthantoenjoyyourselfinHawaii,you’llhavingmorefun.IfyoueverdogettoHawaii,you’llbeinthehabitofenjoyingyourself.And,ifbysomechanceyoudon’t,you’llhavealifeanyway.
3.Whenyou’refacedwithsomanyanddrainingsituations,realizehowminusculeproblemswillseemwhenyouyourlifeasawhole—andrememberthepositivethings.
NowaTry
Listentothepassageagain,andtrytoenjoywhatyouhavehad.