LikingYourselfMore
佚名/Anonymous
AceintheHole
Understandthesenewwordsorphrasesbeforeyoureadthisarticle.
1.apologetically[?,p?l?'d?etik?li]adv.道歉地
2.self-esteem['selfis'ti:m]n.自負
3.subtle['s?tl]adj.微妙的；精細的
4.conspire[k?n'spai?]v.密謀
5.lionizes['lai?naiz]v.把……奉為名人
6.humiliating[hju:'milieiti?]adj.丟臉的
7.compareto把……比作，比喻為
8.struggleto努力奮鬥，競爭
9.persistin堅持，固執於
10.capitulate[k?'pitjuleit]v.屈服
11.ineptitude[i'neptitju:d]adj.無能
12.inferior[in'fi?ri?]adj.劣質
RecentlyIturnedtoafriendwhowasridinginmycarandaskedher,「Whatdoyoulikeaboutyourself?」Werodeinsilenceforseveralminutes.Finally,sheturnedtomeandsaid,apologetically,「Ican』tthinkofanything.」
Iwasstunned.Myfriendisintelligent,charming,andcompassionate—yetshecouldn』tseeanyofthat.
Iknowshe』snotalone.Lowself-esteemhasbecomethenumber-oneissueplaguingwomen.DespiteGod』sassurancethathe』sabsolutelycrazyaboutus,mostofuscan』tbelievehemeansus.It』slikethecynicaleditorwhotellsthecubreporter,「Ifyourmothersaysshelovesyou,checkitout.」
Iwasareporterfor12years.OneofthefirstthingsIlearnedinresearchingastorywas「garbagein,garbageout.」Ifyourrawdataisflawed,youendupwithafaultyconclusion.Thesameistruewithhowweseeourselves.Ifwelackself-confidence,maybewe』reworkingwithflaweddata.
Therealityis,inhundredsofsubtleways,ourculture,family,friends—evenourthoughtlife—conspiretoundermineourconfidence.Wegrowupinfamiliesvoidofaffirmation,encouragement,andrespect—thebuildingblockstoself-confidence.ThenwefindourselvessmackdabinthemiddleofaworldthatlionizesSizeTwoHollywoodstarletsandBarbie-dollfigures.Ourpaycheck,ourtitle,orsomeotherartificialyardstickgivesustemporaryentreeintotheworldofTheAccepted.Butinourhearts,weknowitisn』treal.Howdowefindourwaytothetruth?
I』mtechnophobia.Mybrothergotallthegenesrequiredtounderstandoperatingmanuals,torepairthings,ortomakesenseofcomputers.WhenIfirsthadtolearnhowtouseacomputerformyjob,IwasconvinceditwastheendoflifeasIknewit.
Irememberwithpainfulclarityabeginner』scomputerclasswheretheinstructortoldusto「pressanykey」.Isearchedinvainforthe「any」key.Bytheendoftheclass,IwascertainIwasn』tsmartenoughtodrivemyselfhome,muchlessdressforworkthenextday.ThiswasdespitethefactthatImanagedahome,afamily,ajob,andaprofessionalstaff.
Whywasitsohumiliating?BecauseIcomparedmyselftothe10-year-oldgirlnextdoorwhoeffortlesslysurfedtheNettoresearchhertermpaperswhileIstruggledjusttologon.Insteadofsimplyconcludingthattechnicalprowessisnotoneofmystrengths,IconcludedImustbestupid.Itwasalie.
Peoplerespectusasmuchaswerespectourselves.That』swhytheabsenceofself-confidencecantelegraphtoothersnottobelieveinus.
ForyearsIstruggledtoreceiveacomplimentgraciously.Ifsomeonecomplimentedmyhair,I』ddiscountit.I』dsaymyhairstylemademyfacelookfatorthatmyhairwasamousycolor.WhatIreallymeantwas,theremustbesomemistake.I』mnotworthyourregard.Idon』tlikemyselfandcan』treallybelieveyoudo,either.Thetroubleis,ifwepersistinputtingourselvesdown,eventuallypeoplestarttobelievewe』reright.
Sometimestheproblemisn』tfaultydata.Wehaveanaccuratepictureofourselvesorasituation,butwecapitulatethefirsttimesomeonechallengesus.