Thewholeofthistrainingisamatterofmaturing.Maturityiswisdom,whichisunfortunatelynotconnectedtoage.Ifitwere,itwouldbeveryeasy.Onewouldhaveaguarantee.Sinceitishardwork,ajobtobedone.Firstcomesrecognition,thenlearningnottocondemn,buttounderstand.「Thisisthewayitis.」Thethirdstepischange.Recognitionmaybethehardestpartformostpeople;it』snoteasytoseewhatgoesoninsideofoneself.Thisisthemostimportantandthemostinterestingaspectofcontemplation.
Weleadacontemplativelife,butthatdoesnotmeanwesitinmeditationalldaylong.Acontemplativelifemeansthatoneconsiderseveryaspectofwhathappensaspartofalearningexperience.Oneremainsintrospectiveunderallcircumstances.Whenonebecomesoutgoing,onegoestotheworldwithone』sthoughts,speechandaction.Oneneedstorecollectoneselfandreturnwithin.Inourwayit』sacombinationofmeditationandlifestyle.Thecontemplativelifegoesoninsideofoneself.Onecandothesamethingwithorwithoutrecollection.Contemplationisthemostimportantaspectofintrospection.Itisn』tnecessarytositstillalldayandwatchone』sbreath.Everymove,everythought,everywordcangiverisetounderstandingoneself.
Thiskindofworkononeselfwillbringaboutdeepinnersecurity,whichisrootedinreality.Mostpeoplearewishingandhopingforthiskindofsecurity,butarenotevenabletovoicetheirlonging.Livinginamyth,constantlyhopingorbeingafraidisopposedtohavinginnerstrength.Thefeelingofsecurityariseswhenoneseesrealityinsideofoneselfandtherebytherealityineveryoneelseandcomestotermswithit.
Thecontemplativelifeisoftenlivedheavy-handedly.Acertainlackofjoyiscompensatedforbybeingoutgoing.Thisdoesn』twork.Oneshouldcultivatecertainlight-heartedness,butstaywithinoneself.There』snothingtobeworriedorfearfulabout,nothingthatistoodifficult.Soweneedalight-heartedapproachtoourowndifficultiesandthoseofeveryoneelse,butnotexuberanceandoutpouring.Ratheraconstantinwardness,whichcontainsabitofamusement.Thisworksbest.Ifonehasasenseofhumoraboutoneself,itismucheasiertoloveoneselfproperly.It』salsomucheasiertoloveeverybodyelse.
Wesometimesthinkwecanportraysomethingwearenot.Thatisnotpossible.Peoplegenerallytrytoshowthemselvesoffassomethingbetterthantheyreallyare.Then,ofcourse,theybecomedisappointedinthemselveswhentheyfail,andequallydisappointedinothers.Torealisticallyknowoneselfmakesitpossibletotrulylove.Thatkindoffeelinggivesthelight-heartednesstothisjobinwhichwe』reengaged,whichisneeded.Byacceptingourselvesandothersaswetrulyare,ourjobofpurification,chippingawayatthedefilements,ismademucheasier.
愛自己是件很困難的事，這真是一種很奇怪的現象！或許有人以為這是世界上最容易的事，因為我們始終都在關心自己。我們總對能獲得多少，表現多好，如何舒適地生活懷有極大的興趣。那為何真正地愛自己就那麼難呢?
當然，愛自己並不意味著放縱自己。很多人都沒有真正地愛過自己，他們知道，很多東西並不是自己渴望就能得到。每個人都有很多想法，有不同反應和好惡。他們會認為：沒有這些，他們會更快樂。當一個人肯定自己某些方面而厭惡其他方面時，他就作出了判斷。於是，我們對自身不滿的方面被壓制下去，不想去瞭解，也不想承認它的存在。這是非常有礙自己成長的方式。