TipsforStayingCalm
佚名/Anonymous
Iwatchedtheoldman』sfumblingfingersasheslowlycountedoutthecoins,onebyone.Iwasallbutdancingwithimpatienceinthecheckoutlineandsighedwithexasperation.Hearingme,hesmiledapologetically—atinysmileofhumiliationatbeingfeebleandholdinguptheworld』sbusiness.
ThenIbecamecontrite.Puttingmyselfinhisshoes,Irealizedthatsomedaytheymightpinchmyfeet.Itoo,couldbecomedependentonthekindnessofstrangers.Ipattedhisfrayedsleeves.「Takeyourtime,」Isaid,「there』snohurry.」
ItoccurredtomehowoftenIhadactedimpatiently—honkingmyhorntheinstantthelightchanged,speakingsharplytosomeoneslowtounderstand.Diditmatter?Itdid.Whenyou』reimpatient,you』reapttoberude.Andsuchbehavioriscounter-productive,makingpeopleangryorstubbornoruncooperative.
Idecidedtotrybecomingmorepatientandtodevelopvariousapproachesforcalmingmyselfinstressfulsituations.Ican』tclaimthatthesetechniquestransformedmeintoamodelofpatience,buttheyhavehelpedmeeliminatesomeimpatiencefrommylifeandcontrolmostofit.
Afriendhadpassedtheinterviewsforanimportantnewjob;allthatremainedwasforthepresidentofthecompanytomeethiswife.
Atsix,myfriendandhiswifewereinthetunnelontheirwayintoNewYorkforaseveno』clockappointment.Atseven,theywerestillinthetunnel,stuckbehindanoverturnedtractor-trailer.Whentheyfinallyreachedthepresident』shotel,hehadgone,leavingnomessage.Hewouldnotacceptanexplanationthenextday.「Youshouldhaveplannedfordelays,」hesaid.
Impatientpeopledon』tliketowastetime,sotheycutthingstooclosely.Theybudgetheexactnumberofminutesthatajourneyortaskshouldtake,notallowingforthepossibilityofdelayortheunexpected.Itisbettertoprovideamarginforerror.Themoreimportantyourappointmentis,themoretimeshouldbeallotted.Whenanappointmentabsolutelycan』tbemissed,itpaystoallowridiculousamountsoftime.
Notsettingacovetedjobiscalamitous,buttheconsequencesofbeingheldupareseldomthatserious.Theyarenotworthgettingimpatient.
I』velearnedtoaskmyself,「What』stheworstthatcanhappen?」IftheansweristhatI』llmisstheopeningcreditsofamovieorthestartofaballgame,Icalmdown.WillIevenremembernextweekthatIwastenminuteslatetoday?Puttingmattersinperspectiveshouldeaseyourimpatience.
Oneeveningasanacquaintancewasleavingforaweekendtrip,hercarwouldn』tstart—andthreefriendswerewaitingtobepickeduponastreetcorner.Shehadnowayofgettingwordtothem;theywerecoldandmiserableandworriedwhenshearrivedanhourlate.Sincehearingherpredicament,I』vealwaysarrangedtomeetpeoplewheretheyorIcanbereachedincaseofdelay.Itenablesmetobefarmorepatientwhenthingsgowrong.
Waitinginairportsisoneofthemosttryingfeaturesofmodernlife.IwaswatchingtorrentialrainsstreakthewindowsatRaleigh-DurhamInternationalAirportonemorningwhenamancameup,tookawordgamefromhispocketandaskedifIwantedtoplay.Weplayedwithpleasureforthefourhoursourplanewasdelayed.Nearus,amanworkedonhislaptopcomputer.Onewomanwentthroughastackofcataloguesmethodically,turningdownthecornersofthepages,fillingoutorderblanks.Themostimpatientpeople—theoneswhoprowledthewaitingareaandcomplainedloudly—werethosewhohadnothingtodobutputcoinsinthevendingmachines.
InowassumeI』llencounteradelay,soIalwayscarryapaperback.Afriendworkscrosswordpuzzles.