Next morning brought good news--our trunks had arrived from Hamburg at last.
Let this be a warning to the reader. The Germans are very conscientious, and
this trait makes them very particular. Therefore if you tell a German you want a
thing done immediately, he takes you at your word; he thinks you mean what you
say; so he does that thing immediately--according to his idea of immediately--
which is about a week; that is, it is a week if it refers to the building of a
garment, or it is an hour and a half if it refers to the cooking of a trout.
Very well; if you tell a German to send your trunk to you by "slow freight," he
takes you at your word; he sends it by "slow freight," and you cannot imagine
how long you will go on enlarging your admiration of the expressiveness of that
phrase in the German tongue, before you get that trunk. The hair on my trunk was
soft and thick and youthful, when I got it ready for shipment in Hamburg; it was
baldheaded when it reached Heidelberg. However, it was still sound, that was a
comfort, it was not battered in the least; the baggagemen seemed to be
conscientiously careful, in Germany, of the baggage entrusted to their hands.
There was nothing now in the way of our departure, therefore we set about our
preparations.
Naturally my chief solicitude was about my collection of Ceramics. Of course
I could not take it with me, that would be inconvenient, and dangerous besides.
I took advice, but the best brick-a-brackers were divided as to the wisest
course to pursue; some said pack the collection and warehouse it; others said
try to get it into the Grand Ducal Museum at Mannheim for safe keeping. So I
divided the collection, and followed the advice of both parties. I set aside,
for the Museum, those articles which were the most frail and precious.
Among these was my Etruscan tear-jug. I have made a little sketch of it here;
[Figure 6] that thing creeping up the side is not a bug, it is a hole. I bought
this tear-jug of a dealer in antiquities for four hundred and fifty dollars. It
is very rare. The man said the Etruscans used to keep tears or something in
these things, and that it was very hard to get hold of a broken one, now. I also
set aside my Henri II. plate. See sketch from my pencil; [Figure 7] it is in the
main correct, though I think I have foreshortened one end of it a little too
much, perhaps. This is very fine and rare; the shape is exceedingly beautiful
and unusual. It has wonderful decorations on it, but I am not able to reproduce
them. It cost more than the tear-jug, as the dealer said there was not another
plate just like it in the world. He said there was much false Henri II ware
around, but that the genuineness of this piece was unquestionable. He showed me
its pedigree, or its history, if you please; it was a document which traced this
plate's movements all the way down from its birth--showed who bought it, from
whom, and what he paid for it--from the first buyer down to me, whereby I saw
that it had gone steadily up from thirty-five cents to seven hundred dollars. He
said that the whole Ceramic world would be informed that it was now in my
possession and would make a note of it, with the price paid. [Figure 8]
There were Masters in those days, but, alas--it is not so now. Of course the
main preciousness of this piece lies in its color; it is that old sensuous,
pervading, ramifying, interpolating, transboreal blue which is the despair of
modern art. The little sketch which I have made of this gem cannot and does not
do it justice, since I have been obliged to leave out the color. But I've got
the expression, though.
However, I must not be frittering away the reader's time with these details.
I did not intend to go into any detail at all, at first, but it is the failing
of the true ceramiker, or the true devotee in any department of
brick-a-brackery, that once he gets his tongue or his pen started on his darling
theme, he cannot well stop until he drops from exhaustion. He has no more sense
of the flight of time than has any other lover when talking of his sweetheart.
The very "marks" on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me
into a gibbering ecstasy; and I could forsake a drowning relative to help
dispute about whether the stopple of a departed Buon Retiro scent-bottle was
genuine or spurious.
Many people say that for a male person, bric-a-brac hunting is about as
robust a business as making doll-clothes, or decorating Japanese pots with
decalcomanie butterflies would be, and these people fling mud at the elegant
Englishman, Byng, who wrote a book called THE BRIC-A-BRAC HUNTER, and make fun
of him for chasing around after what they choose to call "his despicable
trifles"; and for "gushing" over these trifles; and for exhibiting his "deep
infantile delight" in what they call his "tuppenny collection of beggarly
trivialities"; and for beginning his book with a picture of himself seated, in a
"sappy, self-complacent attitude, in the midst of his poor little ridiculous
bric-a-brac junk shop."
It is easy to say these things; it is easy to revile us, easy to despise us;
therefore, let these people rail on; they cannot feel as Byng and I feel--it is
their loss, not ours. For my part I am content to be a brick-a-bracker and a
ceramiker--more, I am proud to be so named. I am proud to know that I lose my
reason as immediately in the presence of a rare jug with an illustrious mark on
the bottom of it, as if I had just emptied that jug. Very well; I packed and
stored a part of my collection, and the rest of it I placed in the care of the
Grand Ducal Museum i n Mannheim, by permission. My Old Blue China Cat remains
there yet. I presented it to that excellent institution.
I had but one misfortune with my things. An egg which I had kept back from
breakfast that morning, was broken in packing. It was a great pity. I had shown
it to the best connoisseurs in Heidelberg, and they all said it was an antique.
We spent a day or two in farewell visits, and then left for Baden-Baden. We had
a pleasant trip to it, for the Rhine valley is always lovely. The only trouble
was that the trip was too short. If I remember rightly it only occupied a couple
of hours, therefore I judge that the distance was very little, if any, over
fifty miles. We quitted the train at Oos, and walked the entire remaining
distance to Baden-Baden, with the exception of a lift of less than an hour which
we got on a passing wagon, the weather being exhaustingly warm. We came into
town on foot.
One of the first persons we encountered, as we walked up the street, was the
Rev. Mr. ------, an old friend from America--a lucky encounter, indeed, for his
is a most gentle, refined, and sensitive nature, and his company and
companionship are a genuine refreshment. We knew he had been in Europe some
time, but were not at all expecting to run across him. Both parties burst forth
into loving enthusiasms, and Rev. Mr. ------said:
"I have got a brimful reservoir of talk to pour out on you, and an empty one
ready and thirsting to receive what you have got; we will sit up till midnight
and have a good satisfying interchange, for I leave here early in the morning."
We agreed to that, of course.
I had been vaguely conscious, for a while, of a person who was walking in the
street abreast of us; I had glanced furtively at him once or twice, and noticed
that he was a fine, large, vigorous young fellow, with an open, independent
countenance, faintly shaded with a pale and even almost imperceptible crop of
early down, and that he was clothed from head to heel in cool and enviable
snow-white linen. I thought I had also noticed that his head had a sort of
listening tilt to it. Now about this time the Rev. Mr. ------said:
"The sidewalk is hardly wide enough for three, so I will walk behind; but
keep the talk going, keep the talk going, there's no time to lose, and you may
be sure I will do my share." He ranged himself behind us, and straightway that
stately snow-white young fellow closed up to the sidewalk alongside him, fetched
him a cordial slap on the shoulder with his broad palm, and sung out with a
hearty cheeriness:
"AMERICANS for two-and-a-half and the money up! HEY?"
The Reverend winced, but said mildly:
"Yes--we are Americans."
"Lord love you, you can just bet that's what _I_ am, every time! Put it
there!"
He held out his Sahara of his palm, and the Reverend laid his diminutive hand
in it, and got so cordial a shake that we heard his glove burst under it.
"Say, didn't I put you up right?"
"Oh, yes."
"Sho! I spotted you for MY kind the minute I heard your clack. You been over
here long?"
"About four months. Have you been over long?"
"LONG? Well, I should say so! Going on two YEARS, by geeminy! Say, are you
homesick?"
"No, I can't say that I am. Are you?"
"Oh, HELL, yes!" This with immense enthusiasm.
The Reverend shrunk a little, in his clothes, and we were aware, rather by
instinct than otherwise, that he was throwing out signals of distress to us; but
we did not interfere or try to succor him, for we were quite happy.
The young fellow hooked his arm into the Reverend's, now, with the confiding
and grateful air of a waif who has been longing for a friend, and a sympathetic
ear, and a chance to lisp once more the sweet accents of the mother-tongue--and
then he limbered up the muscles of his mouth and turned himself loose--and with
such a relish! Some of his words were not Sunday-school words, so I am obliged
to put blanks where they occur.
"Yes indeedy! If _I_ ain't an American there AIN'T any Americans, that's all.
And when I heard you fellows gassing away in the good old American language, I'm
------ if it wasn't all I could do to keep from hugging you! My tongue's all
warped with trying to curl it around these ------forsaken wind-galled
nine-jointed German words here; now I TELL you it's awful good to lay it over a
Christian word once more and kind of let the old taste soak it. I'm from western
New York. My name is Cholley Adams. I'm a student, you know. Been here going on
two years. I'm learning to be a horse-doctor! I LIKE that part of it, you know,
but ------these people, they won't learn a fellow in his own language, they make
him learn in German; so before I could tackle the horse-doctoring I had to
tackle this miserable language.
"First off, I thought it would certainly give me the botts, but I don't mind
now. I've got it where the hair's short, I think; and dontchuknow, they made me
learn Latin, too. Now between you and me, I wouldn't give a ------for all the
Latin that was ever jabbered; and the first thing _I_ calculate to do when I get
through, is to just sit down and forget it. 'Twon't take me long, and I don't
mind the time, anyway. And I tell you what! the difference between
school-teaching over yonder and school-teaching over here--sho! WE don't know
anything about it! Here you're got to peg and peg and peg and there just ain't
any let-up--and what you learn here, you've got to KNOW, dontchuknow --or else
you'll have one of these ------spavined, spectacles, ring-boned, knock-kneed old
professors in your hair. I've been here long ENOUGH, and I'm getting blessed
tired of it, mind I TELL you. The old man wrote me that he was coming over in
June, and said he'd take me home in August, whether I was done with my education
or not, but durn him, he didn't come; never said why; just sent me a hamper of
Sunday-school books, and told me to be good, and hold on a while. I don't take
to Sunday-school books, dontchuknow--I don't hanker after them when I can get
pie--but I READ them, anyway, because whatever the old man tells me to do,
that's the thing that I'm a-going to DO, or tear something, you know. I buckled
in and read all those books, because he wanted me to; but that kind of thing
don't excite ME, I like something HEARTY. But I'm awful homesick. I'm homesick
from ear-socket to crupper, and from crupper to hock-joint; but it ain't any
use, I've got to stay here, till the old man drops the rag and give the
word--yes, SIR, right here in this ------country I've got to linger till the old
man says COME!--and you bet your bottom dollar, Johnny, it AIN'T just as easy as
it is for a cat to have twins!"
At the end of this profane and cordial explosion he fetched a prodigious
"WHOOSH!" to relieve his lungs and make recognition of the heat, and then he
straightway dived into his narrative again for "Johnny's" benefit, beginning,
"Well, ------it ain't any use talking, some of those old American words DO have
a kind of a bully swing to them; a man can EXPRESS himself with 'em--a man can
get at what he wants to SAY, dontchuknow."
When we reached our hotel and it seemed that he was about to lose the
Reverend, he showed so much sorrow, and begged so hard and so earnestly that the
Reverend's heart was not hard enough to hold out against the pleadings-- so he
went away with the parent-honoring student, like a right Christian, and took
supper with him in his lodgings, and sat in the surf-beat of his slang and
profanity till near midnight, and then left him--left him pretty well talked
out, but grateful "clear down to his frogs," as he expressed it. The Reverend
said it had transpired during the interview that "Cholley" Adams's father was an
extensive dealer in horses in western New York; this accounted for Cholley's
choice of a profession. The Reverend brought away a pretty high opinion of
Cholley as a manly young fellow, with stuff in him for a useful citizen; he
considered him rather a rough gem, but a gem, nevertheless.
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