A mile or two above Eberbach we saw a peculiar ruin projecting above the
foliage which clothed the peak of a high and very steep hill. This ruin
consisted of merely a couple of crumbling masses of masonry which bore a rude
resemblance to human faces; they leaned forward and touched foreheads, and had
the look of being absorbed in conversation. This ruin had nothing very imposing
or picturesque about it, and there was no great deal of it, yet it was called
the "Spectacular Ruin."
LEGEND OF THE "SPECTACULAR RUIN"
The captain of the raft, who was as full of history as he could stick, said
that in the Middle Ages a most prodigious fire-breathing dragon used to live in
that region, and made more trouble than a tax-collector. He was as long as a
railway-train, and had the customary impenetrable green scales all over him. His
breath bred pestilence and conflagration, and his appetite bred famine. He ate
men and cattle impartially, and was exceedingly unpopular. The German emperor of
that day made the usual offer: he would grant to the destroyer of the dragon,
any one solitary thing he might ask for; for he had a surplusage of daughters,
and it was customary for dragon-killers to take a daughter for pay.
So the most renowned knights came from the four corners of the earth and
retired down the dragon's throat one after the other. A panic arose and spread.
Heroes grew cautious. The procession ceased. The dragon became more destructive
than ever. The people lost all hope of succor, and fled to the mountains for
refuge.
At last Sir Wissenschaft, a poor and obscure knight, out of a far country,
arrived to do battle with the monster. A pitiable object he was, with his armor
hanging in rags about him, and his strange-shaped knapsack strapped upon his
back. Everybody turned up their noses at him, and some openly jeered him. But he
was calm. He simply inquired if the emperor's offer was still in force. The
emperor said it was--but charitably advised him to go and hunt hares and not
endanger so precious a life as his in an attempt which had brought death to so
many of the world's most illustrious heroes.
But this tramp only asked--"Were any of these heroes men of science?" This
raised a laugh, of course, for science was despised in those days. But the tramp
was not in the least ruffled. He said he might be a little in advance of his
age, but no matter--science would come to be honored, some time or other. He
said he would march against the dragon in the morning. Out of compassion, then,
a decent spear was offered him, but he declined, and said, "spears were useless
to men of science." They allowed him to sup in the servants' hall, and gave him
a bed in the stables.
When he started forth in the morning, thousands were gathered to see. The
emperor said:
"Do not be rash, take a spear, and leave off your knapsack."
But the tramp said:
"It is not a knapsack," and moved straight on.
The dragon was waiting and ready. He was breathing forth vast volumes of
sulphurous smoke and lurid blasts of flame. The ragged knight stole warily to a
good position, then he unslung his cylindrical knapsack--which was simply the
common fire-extinguisher known to modern times-- and the first chance he got he
turned on his hose and shot the dragon square in the center of his cavernous
mouth. Out went the fires in an instant, and the dragon curled up and died.
This man had brought brains to his aid. He had reared dragons from the egg,
in his laboratory, he had watched over them like a mother, and patiently studied
them and experimented upon them while they grew. Thus he had found out that fire
was the life principle of a dragon; put out the dragon's fires and it could make
steam no longer, and must die. He could not put out a fire with a spear,
therefore he invented the extinguisher. The dragon being dead, the emperor fell
on the hero's neck and said:
"Deliverer, name your request," at the same time beckoning out behind with
his heel for a detachment of his daughters to form and advance. But the tramp
gave them no observance. He simply said:
"My request is, that upon me be conferred the monopoly of the manufacture and
sale of spectacles in Germany."
The emperor sprang aside and exclaimed:
"This transcends all the impudence I ever heard! A modest demand, by my
halidome! Why didn't you ask for the imperial revenues at once, and be done with
it?"
But the monarch had given his word, and he kept it. To everybody's surprise,
the unselfish monopolist immediately reduced the price of spectacles to such a
degree that a great and crushing burden was removed from the nation. The
emperor, to commemorate this generous act, and to testify his appreciation of
it, issued a decree commanding everybody to buy this benefactor's spectacles and
wear them, whether they needed them or not.
So originated the wide-spread custom of wearing spectacles in Germany; and as
a custom once established in these old lands is imperishable, this one remains
universal in the empire to this day. Such is the legend of the monopolist's once
stately and sumptuous castle, now called the "Spectacular Ruin."
On the right bank, two or three miles below the Spectacular Ruin, we passed
by a noble pile of castellated buildings overlooking the water from the crest of
a lofty elevation. A stretch of two hundred yards of the high front wall was
heavily draped with ivy, and out of the mass of buildings within rose three
picturesque old towers. The place was in fine order, and was inhabited by a
family of princely rank. This castle had its legend, too, but I should not feel
justified in repeating it because I doubted the truth of some of its minor
details.
Along in this region a multitude of Italian laborers were blasting away the
frontage of the hills to make room for the new railway. They were fifty or a
hundred feet above the river. As we turned a sharp corner they began to wave
signals and shout warnings to us to look out for the explosions. It was all very
well to warn us, but what could WE do? You can't back a raft upstream, you can't
hurry it downstream, you can't scatter out to one side when you haven't any room
to speak of, you won't take to the perpendicular cliffs on the other shore when
they appear to be blasting there, too. Your resources are limited, you see.
There is simply nothing for it but to watch and pray.
For some hours we had been making three and a half or four miles an hour and
we were still making that. We had been dancing right along until those men began
to shout; then for the next ten minutes it seemed to me that I had never seen a
raft go so slowly. When the first blast went off we raised our sun-umbrellas and
waited for the result. No harm done; none of the stones fell in the water.
Another blast followed, and another and another. Some of the rubbish fell in the
water just astern of us.
We ran that whole battery of nine blasts in a row, and it was certainly one
of the most exciting and uncomfortable weeks I ever spent, either aship or
ashore. Of course we frequently manned the poles and shoved earnestly for a
second or so, but every time one of those spurts of dust and debris shot aloft
every man dropped his pole and looked up to get the bearings of his share of it.
It was very busy times along there for a while. It appeared certain that we must
perish, but even that was not the bitterest thought; no, the abjectly unheroic
nature of the death--that was the sting--that and the bizarre wording of the
resulting obituary: "SHOT WITH A ROCK, ON A RAFT." There would be no poetry
written about it. None COULD be written about it. Example:
NOT by war's shock, or war's shaft,--SHOT, with a rock, on a raft.
No poet who valued his reputation would touch such a theme as that. I should
be distinguished as the only "distinguished dead" who went down to the grave
unsonneted, in 1878.
But we escaped, and I have never regretted it. The last blast was peculiarly
strong one, and after the small rubbish was done raining around us and we were
just going to shake hands over our deliverance, a later and larger stone came
down amongst our little group of pedestrians and wrecked an umbrella. It did no
other harm, but we took to the water just the same.
It seems that the heavy work in the quarries and the new railway gradings is
done mainly by Italians. That was a revelation. We have the notion in our
country that Italians never do heavy work at all, but confine themselves to the
lighter arts, like organ-grinding, operatic singing, and assassination. We have
blundered, that is plain.
All along the river, near every village, we saw little station-houses for the
future railway. They were finished and waiting for the rails and business. They
were as trim and snug and pretty as they could be. They were always of brick or
stone; they were of graceful shape, they had vines and flowers about them
already, and around them the grass was bright and green, and showed that it was
carefully looked after. They were a decoration to the beautiful landscape, not
an offense. Wherever one saw a pile of gravel or a pile of broken stone, it was
always heaped as trimly and exactly as a new grave or a stack of cannon-balls;
nothing about those stations or along the railroad or the wagon-road was allowed
to look shabby or be unornamental. The keeping a country in such beautiful order
as Germany exhibits, has a wise practical side to it, too, for it keeps
thousands of people in work and bread who would otherwise be idle and
mischievous.
As the night shut down, the captain wanted to tie up, but I thought maybe we
might make Hirschhorn, so we went on. Presently the sky became overcast, and the
captain came aft looking uneasy. He cast his eye aloft, then shook his head, and
said it was coming on to blow. My party wanted to land at once--therefore I
wanted to go on. The captain said we ought to shorten sail anyway, out of common
prudence. Consequently, the larboard watch was ordered to lay in his pole. It
grew quite dark, now, and the wind began to rise. It wailed through the swaying
branches of the trees, and swept our decks in fitful gusts. Things were taking
on an ugly look. The captain shouted to the steersman on the forward log:
"How's she landing?"
The answer came faint and hoarse from far forward:
"Nor'-east-and-by-nor'--east-by-east, half-east, sir."
"Let her go off a point!"
"Aye-aye, sir!"
"What water have you got?"
"Shoal, sir. Two foot large, on the stabboard, two and a half scant on the
labboard!"
"Let her go off another point!"
"Aye-aye, sir!"
"Forward, men, all of you! Lively, now! Stand by to crowd her round the
weather corner!"
"Aye-aye, sir!"
Then followed a wild running and trampling and hoarse shouting, but the forms
of the men were lost in the darkness and the sounds were distorted and confused
by the roaring of the wind through the shingle-bundles. By this time the sea was
running inches high, and threatening every moment to engulf the frail bark. Now
came the mate, hurrying aft, and said, close to the captain's ear, in a low,
agitated voice:
"Prepare for the worst, sir--we have sprung a leak!"
"Heavens! where?"
"Right aft the second row of logs."
"Nothing but a miracle can save us! Don't let the men know, or there will be
a panic and mutiny! Lay her in shore and stand by to jump with the stern-line
the moment she touches. Gentlemen, I must look to you to second my endeavors in
this hour of peril. You have hats--go forward and bail for your lives!"
Down swept another mighty blast of wind, clothed in spray and thick darkness.
At such a moment as this, came from away forward that most appalling of all
cries that are ever heard at sea:
"MAN OVERBOARD!"
The captain shouted:
"Hard a-port! Never mind the man! Let him climb aboard or wade ashore!"
Another cry came down the wind:
"Breakers ahead!"
"Where away?"
"Not a log's length off her port fore-foot!"
We had groped our slippery way forward, and were now bailing with the frenzy
of despair, when we heard the mate's terrified cry, from far aft:
"Stop that dashed bailing, or we shall be aground!"
But this was immediately followed by the glad shout:
"Land aboard the starboard transom!"
"Saved!" cried the captain. "Jump ashore and take a turn around a tree and
pass the bight aboard!"
The next moment we were all on shore weeping and embracing for joy, while the
rain poured down in torrents. The captain said he had been a mariner for forty
years on the Neckar, and in that time had seen storms to make a man's cheek
blanch and his pulses stop, but he had never, never seen a storm that even
approached this one. How familiar that sounded! For I have been at sea a good
deal and have heard that remark from captains with a frequency accordingly.
We framed in our minds the usual resolution of thanks and admiration and
gratitude, and took the first opportunity to vote it, and put it in writing and
present it to the captain, with the customary speech. We tramped through the
darkness and the drenching summer rain full three miles, and reached "The
Naturalist Tavern" in the village of Hirschhorn just an hour before midnight,
almost exhausted from hardship, fatigue, and terror. I can never forget that
night.
The landlord was rich, and therefore could afford to be crusty and
disobliging; he did not at all like being turned out of his warm bed to open his
house for us. But no matter, his household got up and cooked a quick supper for
us, and we brewed a hot punch for ourselves, to keep off consumption. After
supper and punch we had an hour's soothing smoke while we fought the naval
battle over again and voted the resolutions; then we retired to exceedingly neat
and pretty chambers upstairs that had clean, comfortable beds in them with
heirloom pillowcases most elaborately and tastefully embroidered by hand.
Such rooms and beds and embroidered linen are as frequent in German village
inns as they are rare in ours. Our villages are superior to German villages in
more merits, excellences, conveniences, and privileges than I can enumerate, but
the hotels do not belong in the list.
"The Naturalist Tavern" was not a meaningless name; for all the halls and all
the rooms were lined with large glass cases which were filled with all sorts of
birds and animals, glass-eyed, ably stuffed, and set up in the most natural
eloquent and dramatic attitudes. The moment we were abed, the rain cleared away
and the moon came out. I dozed off to sleep while contemplating a great white
stuffed owl which was looking intently down on me from a high perch with the air
of a person who thought he had met me before, but could not make out for
certain.
But young Z did not get off so easily. He said that as he was sinking
deliciously to sleep, the moon lifted away the shadows and developed a huge cat,
on a bracket, dead and stuffed, but crouching, with every muscle tense, for a
spring, and with its glittering glass eyes aimed straight at him. It made Z
uncomfortable. He tried closing his own eyes, but that did not answer, for a
natural instinct kept making him open them again to see if the cat was still
getting ready to launch at him--which she always was. He tried turning his back,
but that was a failure; he knew the sinister eyes were on him still. So at last
he had to get up, after an hour or two of worry and experiment, and set the cat
out in the hall. So he won, that time.
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