WE strolled along in a sufficiently indolent fashion now, and talked. We must
dispose of about the amount of time it ought to take to go to the little hamlet
of Abblasoure and put justice on the track of those murderers and get back home
again. And meantime I had an auxiliary interest which had never paled yet, never
lost its novelty for me since I had been in Arthur's kingdom: the behavior --
born of nice and exact subdivisions of caste -- of chance passers-by toward each
other. Toward the shaven monk who trudged along with his cowl tilted back and
the sweat washing down his fat jowls, the coal-burner was deeply reverent; to
the gentleman he was abject; with the small farmer and the free mechanic he was
cordial and gossipy; and when a slave passed by with a countenance respectfully
lowered, this chap's nose was in the air -- he couldn't even see him. Well,
there are times when one would like to hang the whole human race and finish the
farce.
Presently we struck an incident. A small mob of half-naked boys and girls
came tearing out of the woods, scared and shrieking. The eldest among them were
not more than twelve or fourteen years old. They implored help, but they were so
beside themselves that we couldn't make out what the matter was. However, we
plunged into the wood, they skurrying in the lead, and the trouble was quickly
revealed: they had hanged a little fellow with a bark rope, and he was kicking
and struggling, in the process of choking to death. We rescued him, and fetched
him around. It was some more human nature; the admiring little folk imitating
their elders; they were playing mob, and had achieved a success which promised
to be a good deal more serious than they had bargained for.
It was not a dull excursion for me. I managed to put in the time very well. I
made various acquaintanceships, and in my quality of stranger was able to ask as
many questions as I wanted to. A thing which naturally interested me, as a
statesman, was the matter of wages. I picked up what I could under that head
during the afternoon. A man who hasn't had much experience, and doesn't think,
is apt to measure a nation's prosperity or lack of prosperity by the mere size
of the prevailing wages; if the wages be high, the nation is prosperous; if low,
it isn't. Which is an error. It isn't what sum you get, it's how much you can
buy with it, that's the important thing; and it's that that tells whether your
wages are high in fact or only high in name. I could remember how it was in the
time of our great civil war in the nineteenth century. In the North a carpenter
got three dollars a day, gold valuation; in the South he got fifty -- payable in
Confederate shinplasters worth a dollar a bushel. In the North a suit of
overalls cost three dollars -- a day's wages; in the South it cost seventyfive
-- which was two days' wages. Other things were in proportion. Consequently,
wages were twice as high in the North as they were in the South, because the one
wage had that much more purchasing power than the other had.
Yes, I made various acquaintances in the hamlet and a thing that gratified me
a good deal was to find our new coins in circulation -- lots of milrays, lots of
mills, lots of cents, a good many nickels, and some silver; all this among the
artisans and commonalty generally; yes, and even some gold -- but that was at
the bank, that is to say, the goldsmith's. I dropped in there while Marco, the
son of Marco, was haggling with a shopkeeper over a quarter of a pound of salt,
and asked for change for a twenty-dollar gold piece. They furnished it -- that
is, after they had chewed the piece, and rung it on the counter, and tried acid
on it, and asked me where I got it, and who I was, and where I was from, and
where I was going to, and when I expected to get there, and perhaps a couple of
hundred more questions; and when they got aground, I went right on and furnished
them a lot of information voluntarily; told them I owned a dog, and his name was
Watch, and my first wife was a Free Will Baptist, and her grandfather was a
Prohibitionist, and I used to know a man who had two thumbs on each hand and a
wart on the inside of his upper lip, and died in the hope of a glorious
resurrection, and so on, and so on, and so on, till even that hungry village
questioner began to look satisfied, and also a shade put out; but he had to
respect a man of my financial strength, and so he didn't give me any lip, but I
noticed he took it out of his underlings, which was a perfectly natural thing to
do. Yes, they changed my twenty, but I judged it strained the bank a little,
which was a thing to be expected, for it was the same as walking into a paltry
village store in the nineteenth century and requiring the boss of it to change a
two thousand-dollar bill for you all of a sudden. He could do it, maybe; but at
the same time he would wonder how a small farmer happened to be carrying so much
money around in his pocket; which was probably this goldsmith's thought, too;
for he followed me to the door and stood there gazing after me with reverent
admiration.
Our new money was not only handsomely circulating, but its language was
already glibly in use; that is to say, people had dropped the names of the
former moneys, and spoke of things as being worth so many dollars or cents or
mills or milrays now. It was very gratifying. We were progressing, that was
sure.
I got to know several master mechanics, but about the most interesting fellow
among them was the blacksmith, Dowley. He was a live man and a brisk talker, and
had two journeymen and three apprentices, and was doing a raging business. In
fact, he was getting rich, hand over fist, and was vastly respected. Marco was
very proud of having such a man for a friend. He had taken me there ostensibly
to let me see the big establishment which bought so much of his charcoal, but
really to let me see what easy and almost familiar terms he was on with this
great man. Dowley and I fraternized at once; I had had just such picked men,
splendid fellows, under me in the Colt Arms Factory. I was bound to see more of
him, so I invited him to come out to Marco's Sunday, and dine with us. Marco was
appalled, and held his breath; and when the grandee accepted, he was so grateful
that he almost forgot to be astonished at the condescension.
Marco's joy was exuberant -- but only for a moment; then he grew thoughtful,
then sad; and when he heard me tell Dowley I should have Dickon, the boss mason,
and Smug, the boss wheelwright, out there, too, the coal-dust on his face turned
to chalk, and he lost his grip. But I knew what was the matter with him; it was
the expense. He saw ruin before him; he judged that his financial days were
numbered. However, on our way to invite the others, I said:
"You must allow me to have these friends come; and you must also allow me to
pay the costs."
His face cleared, and he said with spirit:
"But not all of it, not all of it. Ye cannot well bear a burden like to this
alone."
I stopped him, and said:
"Now let's understand each other on the spot, old friend. I am only a farm
bailiff, it is true; but I am not poor, nevertheless. I have been very fortunate
this year -- you would be astonished to know how I have thriven. I tell you the
honest truth when I say I could squander away as many as a dozen feasts like
this and never care THAT for the expense!" and I snapped my fingers. I could see
myself rise a foot at a time in Marco's estimation, and when I fetched out those
last words I was become a very tower for style and altitude. "So you see, you
must let me have my way. You can't contribute a cent to this orgy, that's
SETTLED."
"It's grand and good of you --"
"No, it isn't. You've opened your house to Jones and me in the most generous
way; Jones was remarking upon it to-day, just before you came back from the
village; for although he wouldn't be likely to say such a thing to you --
because Jones isn't a talker, and is diffident in society -- he has a good heart
and a grateful, and knows how to appreciate it when he is well treated; yes, you
and your wife have been very hospitable toward us --"
"Ah, brother, 'tis nothing -- SUCH hospitality!"
"But it IS something; the best a man has, freely given, is always something,
and is as good as a prince can do, and ranks right along beside it -- for even a
prince can but do his best. And so we'll shop around and get up this layout now,
and don't you worry about the expense. I'm one of the worst spendthrifts that
ever was born. Why, do you know, sometimes in a single week I spend -- but never
mind about that -- you'd never believe it anyway."
And so we went gadding along, dropping in here and there, pricing things, and
gossiping with the shopkeepers about the riot, and now and then running across
pathetic reminders of it, in the persons of shunned and tearful and houseless
remnants of families whose homes had been taken from them and their parents
butchered or hanged. The raiment of Marco and his wife was of coarse tow-linen
and linsey-woolsey respectively, and resembled township maps, it being made up
pretty exclusively of patches which had been added, township by township, in the
course of five or six years, until hardly a hand's-breadth of the original
garments was surviving and present. Now I wanted to fit these people out with
new suits, on account of that swell company, and I didn't know just how to get
at it -- with delicacy, until at last it struck me that as I had already been
liberal in inventing wordy gratitude for the king, it would be just the thing to
back it up with evidence of a substantial sort; so I said:
"And Marco, there's another thing which you must permit -- out of kindness
for Jones -- because you wouldn't want to offend him. He was very anxious to
testify his appreciation in some way, but he is so diffident he couldn't venture
it himself, and so he begged me to buy some little things and give them to you
and Dame Phyllis and let him pay for them without your ever knowing they came
from him -- you know how a delicate person feels about that sort of thing -- and
so I said I would, and we would keep mum. Well, his idea was, a new outfit of
clothes for you both --"
"Oh, it is wastefulness! It may not be, brother, it may not be. Consider the
vastness of the sum --"
"Hang the vastness of the sum! Try to keep quiet for a moment, and see how it
would seem; a body can't get in a word edgeways, you talk so much. You ought to
cure that, Marco; it isn't good form, you know, and it will grow on you if you
don't check it. Yes, we'll step in here now and price this man's stuff -- and
don't forget to remember to not let on to Jones that you know he had anything to
do with it. You can't think how curiously sensitive and proud he is. He's a
farmer -- pretty fairly well-to-do farmer -- an I'm his bailiff; BUT -- the
imagination of that man! Why, sometimes when he forgets himself and gets to
blowing off, you'd think he was one of the swells of the earth; and you might
listen to him a hundred years and never take him for a farmer -- especially if
he talked agriculture. He THINKS he's a Sheol of a farmer; thinks he's old
Grayback from Wayback; but between you and me privately he don't know as much
about farming as he does about running a kingdom -- still, whatever he talks
about, you want to drop your underjaw and listen, the same as if you had never
heard such incredible wisdom in all your life before, and were afraid you might
die before you got enough of it. That will please Jones."
It tickled Marco to the marrow to hear about such an odd character; but it
also prepared him for accidents; and in my experience when you travel with a
king who is letting on to be something else and can't remember it more than
about half the time, you can't take too many precautions.
This was the best store we had come across yet; it had everything in it, in
small quantities, from anvils and drygoods all the way down to fish and
pinchbeck jewelry. I concluded I would bunch my whole invoice right here, and
not go pricing around any more. So I got rid of Marco, by sending him off to
invite the mason and the wheelwright, which left the field free to me. For I
never care to do a thing in a quiet way; it's got to be theatrical or I don't
take any interest in it. I showed up money enough, in a careless way, to corral
the shopkeeper's respect, and then I wrote down a list of the things I wanted,
and handed it to him to see if he could read it. He could, and was proud to show
that he could. He said he had been educated by a priest, and could both read and
write. He ran it through, and remarked with satisfaction that it was a pretty
heavy bill. Well, and so it was, for a little concern like that. I was not only
providing a swell dinner, but some odds and ends of extras. I ordered that the
things be carted out and delivered at the dwelling of Marco, the son of Marco,
by Saturday evening, and send me the bill at dinner-time Sunday. He said I could
depend upon his promptness and exactitude, it was the rule of the house. He also
observed that he would throw in a couple of miller-guns for the Marcos gratis --
that everybody was using them now. He had a mighty opinion of that clever
device. I said:
"And please fill them up to the middle mark, too; and add that to the bill."
He would, with pleasure. He filled them, and I took them with me. I couldn't
venture to tell him that the miller-gun was a little invention of my own, and
that I had officially ordered that every shopkeeper in the kingdom keep them on
hand and sell them at government price -- which was the merest trifle, and the
shopkeeper got that, not the government. We furnished them for nothing.
The king had hardly missed us when we got back at nightfall. He had early
dropped again into his dream of a grand invasion of Gaul with the whole strength
of his kingdom at his back, and the afternoon had slipped away without his ever
coming to himself again.
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