Is a chapter of love
`PECKSNIFF,' said JONAS, TAKING OFF HIS HAT, to see that the black crape band
was all right; and finding that it was, putting it on again, complacently; `what
do you mean to give your daughters when they marry?'
`My dear Mr. Jonas,' cried the affectionate parent, with an ingenuous smile,
`what a very singular inquiry!'
`Now, don't you mind whether it's a singular inquiry or a plural one,'
retorted Jonas, eyeing Mr. Pecksniff with no great favour, `but answer it, or
let it alone. One or the other.'
`Hum! The question, my dear friend,' said Mr. Pecksniff, laying his hand
tenderly upon his kinsman's knee, `is involved with many considerations. What
would I give them? Eh?'
`Ah! what would you give 'em?' repeated Jonas.
`Why, that, 'said Mr. Pecksniff, 'would naturally depend in a great measure
upon the kind of husbands they might choose, my dear young friend.'
Mr. Jonas was evidently disconcerted, and at a loss how to proceed. It was a
good answer. It seemed a deep one, but such is the wisdom of simplicity!'
`My standard for the merits I would require in a son-in-law,' said Mr.
Pecksniff, after a short silence, `is a high one. Forgive me, my dear Mr.
Jonas,' he added, greatly moved, `if I say that you have spoiled me, and made it
a fanciful one; an imaginative one; a prismatically tinged one, if I may be
permitted to call it so.'
`What do you mean by that?' growled Jonas, looking at him with increased
disfavour.
`Indeed, my dear friend,' said Mr. Pecksniff, `you may well inquire. The
heart is not always a royal mint, with patent machinery to work its metal into
current coin. Sometimes it throws it out in strange forms, not easily recognised
as coin at all. But it is sterling gold. It has at least that merit. It is
sterling gold.'
`Is it?' grumbled Jonas, with a doubtful shake of the head.
`Aye!' said Mr. Pecksniff, warming with his subject `it is. To be plain with
you, Mr. Jonas, if I could find two such sons-in-law as you will one day make to
some deserving man, capable of appreciating a nature such as yours, I would --
forgetful of myself -- bestow upon my daughters portions reaching to the very
utmost limit of my means.'
This was strong language, and it was earnestly delivered. But who can wonder
that such a man as Mr. Pecksniff, after all he had seen and heard of Mr. Jonas,
should be strong and earnest upon such a theme; a theme that touched even the
worldly lips of undertakers with the honey of eloquence!
Mr. Jonas was silent, and looked thoughtfully at the landscape. For they were
seated on the outside of the coach, at the back, and were travelling down into
the country. He accompanied Mr. Pecksniff home for a few days' change of air and
scene after his recent trials.
`Well,' he said, at last, with captivating bluntness, `suppose you got one
such son-in-law as me, what then?'
Mr. Pecksniff regarded him at first with inexpressible surprise; then
gradually breaking into a sort of dejected vivacity, said:
`Then well I know whose husband he would be!'
`Whose?' asked Jonas, drily.
`My eldest girl's, Mr. Jonas,' replied Pecksniff, with moistening eyes. `My
dear Cherry's: my staff, my scrip, my treasure, Mr. Jonas. A hard struggle, but
it is in the nature of things! I must one day part with her to a husband. I know
it, my dear friend. I am prepared for it.'
`Ecod! you've been prepared for that a pretty long time, I should think,'
said Jonas.
`Many have sought to bear her from me,' said Mr. Pecksniff. `All have failed.
"I never will give my hand, papa:" those were her words: "unless my heart is
won." She has not been quite so happy as she used to be, of late. I don't know
why.'
Again Mr. Jonas looked at the landscape; then at the coachman; then at the
luggage on the roof; finally at Mr. Pecksniff.
`I suppose you'll have to part with the other one, some of these days?' he
observed, as he caught that gentleman's eye.
`Probably,' said the parent. `Years will tame down the wildness of my foolish
bird, and then it will be caged. But Cherry, Mr. Jonas, Cherry.'
`Oh, ah!' interrupted Jonas. `Years have made her all right enough. Nobody
doubts that. But you haven't answered what I asked you. Of course, you're not
obliged to do it, you know, if you don't like. You're the best judge.'
There was a warning sulkiness in the manner of this speech, which admonished
Mr. Pecksniff that his dear friend was not to be trifled with or fenced off, and
that he must either return a straight-forward reply to his question, or plainly
give him to understand that he declined to enlighten him upon the subject to
which it referred. Mindful in this dilemma of the caution old Anthony had given
him almost with his latest breath, he resolved to speak to the point, and so
told Mr. Jonas (enlarging upon the communication as a proof of his great
attachment and confidence), that in the case he had put; to wit, in the event of
such a man as he proposing for his daughter's hand: he would endow her with a
fortune of four thousand pounds.
`I should sadly pinch and cramp myself to do so,' was his fatherly remark;
`but that would be my duty, and my conscience would reward me. For myself, my
conscience is my bank. I have a trifle invested there, a mere trifle, Mr. Jonas;
but I prize it as a store of value, I assure you.'
The good man's enemies would have divided upon this question into two
parties. One would have asserted without scruple that if Mr. Pecksniff's
conscience were his bank, and he kept a running account there, he must have
overdrawn it beyond all mortal means of computation. The other would have
contended that it was a mere fictitious form; a perfectly blank book; or one in
which entries were only made with a peculiar kind of invisible ink to become
legible at some indefinite time and that he never troubled it at all.
`It would sadly pinch and cramp me, my dear friend,' repeated Mr. Pecksniff,
`but Providence, perhaps I may be permitted to say a special Providence, has
blessed my endeavours, and I could guarantee to make the sacrifice.'
A question of philosophy arises here, whether Mr. Pecksniff had or had not
good reason to say, that he was specially patronised and encouraged in his
undertakings. All his life long he had been walking up and down the narrow ways
and by-places, with a hook in one hand and a crook in the other, scraping all
sorts of valuable odds and ends into his pouch. Now, there being a special
Providence in the fall of a sparrow, it follows (so Mr. Pecksniff would have
reasoned), that there must also be a special Providence in the alighting of the
stone or stick, or other substance which is aimed at the sparrow. And Mr.
Pecksniff's hook, or crook, having invariably knocked the sparrow on the head
and brought him down, that gentleman may have been led to consider himself as
specially licensed to bag sparrows, and as being specially seised and possessed
of all the birds he had got together. That many undertakings, national as well
as individual--but especially the former--are held to be specially brought to a
glorious and successful issue, which never could be so regarded on any other
process of reasoning, must be clear to all men. Therefore the precedents would
seem to show that Mr. Pecksniff had good argument for what he said and might be
permitted to say it, and did not say it presumptuously, vainly, or arrogantly,
but in a spirit of high faith and great wisdom meriting all praise.1
Mr. Jonas, not being much accustomed to perplex his mind with theories of
this nature, expressed no opinion on the subject. Nor did he receive his
companion's announcement with one solitary syllable, good, bad, or indifferent.
He preserved this taciturnity for a quarter of an hour at least, and during the
whole of that time appeared to be steadily engaged in subjecting some given
amount to the operation of every known rule in figures; adding to it, taking
from it, multiplying it, reducing it by long and short division; working it by
the rule-of-three direct and inversed; exchange or barter; practice; simple
interest; compound interest; and other means of arithmetical calculation. The
result of these labours appeared to be satisfactory, for when he 1The most
credulous reader will scarcely believe that Mr. Pecksniff's reasoning was once
set upon as the Author's!! did break silence, it was as one who had arrived at
some specific result, and freed himself from a state of distressing uncertainty.
`Come, old Pecksniff!' Such was his jocose address, as he slapped that
gentleman on the back, at the end of the stage; `let's have something!'
`With all my heart,' said Mr. Pecksniff.
`Let's treat the driver,' cried Jonas.
`If you think it won't hurt the man, or render him discontented with his
station; certainly,' faltered Mr. Pecksniff.
Jonas only laughed at this, and getting down from the coach-top with great
alacrity, cut a cumbersome kind of caper in the road. After which, he went into
the public-house, and there ordered spirituous drink to such an extent, that Mr.
Pecksniff had some doubts of his perfect sanity, until Jonas set them quite at
rest by saying, when the coach could wait no longer:
`I've been standing treat for a whole week and more, and letting you have all
the delicacies of the season. You shall pay for this Pecksniff.' It was not a
joke either, as Mr. Pecksniff at first supposed; for he went off to the coach
without further ceremony, and left his respected victim to settle the bill.
But Mr. Pecksniff was a man of meek endurance, and Mr. Jonas was his friend.
Moreover, his regard for that gentleman was founded, as we know, on pure esteem,
and a knowledge of the excellence of his character. He came out from the tavern
with a smiling face, and even went so far as to repeat the performance, on a
less expensive scale, at the next ale-house. There was a certain wildness in the
spirits of Mr. Jonas (not usually a part of his character) which was far from
being subdued by these means, and, for the rest of the journey, he was so very
buoyant--it may be said, boisterous--that Mr. Pecksniff had some difficulty in
keeping pace with him.
They were not expected. Oh dear, no! Mr. Pecksniff had proposed in London to
give the girls a surprise, and had said he wouldn't write a word to prepare them
on any account, in order that he and Mr. Jonas might take them unawares, and
just see what they were doing, when they thought their dear papa was miles and
miles away. As a consequence of this playful device, there was nobody to meet
them at the finger-post, but that was of small consequence, for they had come
down by the day coach, and Mr. Pecksniff had only a carpetbag, while Mr. Jonas
had only a portmanteau. They took the portmanteau between them, put the bag upon
it, and walked off up the lane without delay: Mr. Pecksniff already going on
tiptoe as if, without this precaution, his fond children, being then at a
distance of a couple of miles or so, would have some filial sense of his
approach.
It was a lovely evening in the spring-time of the year; and in the soft
stillness of the twilight, all nature was very calm and beautiful. The day had
been fine and warm; but at the coming on of night, the air grew cool, and in the
mellowing distance smoke was rising gently from the cottage chimneys. There were
a thousand pleasant scents diffused around, from young leaves and fresh buds;
the cuckoo had been singing all day long, and was but just now hushed; the smell
of earth newly-upturned, first breath of hope to the first labourer after his
garden withered, was fragrant in the evening breeze. It was a time when most men
cherish good resolves, and sorrow for the wasted past; when most men, looking on
the shadows as they gather, think of that evening which must close on all, and
that to-morrow which has none beyond.
`Precious dull,' said Mr. Jonas, looking about. `It's enough to make a man go
melancholy mad.'
`We shall have lights and a fire soon,' observed Mr. Pecksniff.
`We shall need 'em by the time we get there,' said Jonas. `Why the devil
don't you talk? What are you thinking of?'
`To tell you the truth, Mr. Jonas,' said Pecksniff with great solemnity, `my
mind was running at that moment on our late dear friend, your departed father.'
Mr. Jonas immediately let his burden fall, and said, threatening him with his
hand:
`Drop that, Pecksniff!'
Mr. Pecksniff not exactly knowing whether allusion was made to the subject or
the portmanteau, stared at his friend in unaffected surprise.
`Drop it, I say!' cried Jonas, fiercely. `Do you hear? Drop it, now and for
ever. You had better, I give you notice!'
`It was quite a mistake,' urged Mr. Pecksniff, very much dismayed; `though I
admit it was foolish. I might have known it was a tender string.'
`Don't talk to me about tender strings,' said Jonas, wiping his forehead with
the cuff of his coat. `I'm not going to be crowed over by you, because I don't
like dead company.'
Mr. Pecksniff had got out the words `Crowed over, Mr. Jonas!' when that young
man, with a dark expression in his countenance, cut him short once more:
`Mind!' he said. `I won't have it. I advise you not to revive the subject,
neither to me nor anybody else. You can take a hint, if you choose as well as
another man. There's enough said about it. Come along!'
Taking up his part of the load again, when he had said these words, he
hurried on so fast that Mr. Pecksniff, at the other end of the portmanteau,
found himself dragged forward, in a very inconvenient and ungraceful manner, to
the great detriment of what is called by fancy gentlemen `the bark' upon his
shins, which were most unmercifully bumped against the hard leather and the iron
buckles. In the course of a few minutes, however, Mr. Jonas relaxed his speed,
and suffered his companion to come up with him, and to bring the portmanteau
into a tolerably straight position.
It was pretty clear that he regretted his late outbreak, and that he
mistrusted its effect on Mr. Pecksniff; for as often as that gentleman glanced
towards Mr. Jonas, he found Mr. Jonas glancing at him, which was a new source of
embarrassment. It was but a short-lived one, though, for Mr. Jonas soon began to
whistle, whereupon Mr. Pecksniff, taking his cue from his friend, began to hum a
tune melodiously.
`Pretty nearly there, ain't we?' said Jonas, when this had lasted some time.
`Close, my dear friend,' said Mr. Pecksniff.
`What'll they be doing, do you suppose?' asked Jonas.
`Impossible to say,' cried Mr. Pecksniff. `Giddy truants! They may be away
from home, perhaps. I was going to--he! he! he!--I was going to propose,' said
Mr. Pecksniff, `that we should enter by the back way, and come upon them like a
clap of thunder, Mr. Jonas.'
It might not have been easy to decide in respect of which of their manifold
properties, Jonas, Mr. Pecksniff, the carpet-bag, and the portmanteau, could be
likened to a clap of thunder. But Mr. Jonas giving his assent to this proposal,
they stole round into the back yard, and softly advanced towards the kitchen
window, through which the mingled light of fire and candle shone upon the
darkening night.
Truly Mr. Pecksniff is blessed in his children. In one of them, at any rate.
The prudent Cherry--staff and scrip, and treasure of her doting father--there
she sits, at a little table white as driven snow, before the kitchen fire,
making up accounts! See the neat maiden, as with pen in hand, and calculating
look addressed towards the ceiling and bunch of keys within a little basket at
her side, she checks the housekeeping expenditure! From flat-iron, dish-cover,
and warming-pan; from pot and kettle, face of brass footman, and black-leaded
stove; bright glances of approbation wink and glow upon her. The very onions
dangling from the beam, mantle and shine like cherubs' cheeks. Something of the
influence of those vegetables sinks into Mr. Pecksniff's nature. He weeps.
It is but for a moment, and he hides it from the observation of his
friend--very carefully--by a somewhat elaborate use of his pocket-handkerchief,
in fact: for he would not have his weakness known.
`Pleasant,' he murmured, `pleasant to a father's feelings! My dear girl!
Shall we let her know we are here, Mr. Jonas?'
`Why, I suppose you don't mean to spend the evening in the stable, or the
coach-house,' he returned.
`That, indeed, is not such hospitality as I would show to you, my friend,'
cried Mr. Pecksniff, pressing his hand. And then he took a long breath, and
tapping at the window, shouted with stentorian blandness:
`Boh!'
Cherry dropped her pen and screamed. But innocence is ever bold, or should
be. As they opened the door, the valiant girl exclaimed in a firm voice, and
with a presence of mind which even in that trying moment did not desert her,
`Who are you? What do you want? Speak! or I will call my Pa.'
Mr. Pecksniff held out his arms. She knew him instantly, and rushed into his
fond embrace.
`It was thoughtless of us, Mr. Jonas, it was very thoughtless,' said
Pecksniff, smoothing his daugther's hair. `My darling, do you see that I am not
alone!'
Not she. She had seen nothing but her father until now. She saw Mr. Jonas
now, though; and blushed, and hung her head down, as she gave him welcome.
But where was Merry? Mr. Pecksniff didn't ask the question in reproach, but
in a vein of mildness touched with a gentle sorrow. She was up-stairs, reading
on the parlour couch. Ah! Domestic details had no charms for her. `But call her
down,' said Mr. Pecksniff, with a placid resignation. `Call her down, my love.'
She was called and came, all flushed and tumbled from reposing on the sofa;
but none the worse for that. No, not at all. Rather the better, if anything.
`Oh my goodness me!' cried the arch girl, turning to her cousin when she had
kissed her father on both cheeks, and in her frolic-some nature had bestowed a
supernumerary salute upon the tip of his nose, `you here, fright! Well, I'm very
thankful that you won't trouble me much!'
`What! you're as lively as ever, are you?' said Jonas. `Oh! You're a wicked
one!'
`There, go along!' retorted Merry, pushing him away. `I'm sure I don't know
what I shall ever do, if I have to see much of you. Go along, for gracious'
sake!'
Mr. Pecksniff striking in here, with a request that Mr. Jonas would
immediately walk up-stairs, he so far complied with the young lady's adjuration
as to go at once. But though he had the fair Cherry on his arm, he could not
help looking back at her sister, and exchanging some further dialogue of the
same bantering description, as they all four ascended to the parlour; where--for
the young ladies happened, by good fortune, to be a little later than usual that
night--the teaboard was at that moment being set out.
Mr. Pinch was not at home, so they had it all to themselves, and were very
snug and talkative, Jonas sitting between the two sisters, and displaying his
gallantry in that engaging manner which was peculiar to him. It was a hard
thing, Mr. Pecksniff said, when tea was done, and cleared away, to leave so
pleasant a little party, but having some important papers to examine in his own
apartment, he must beg them to excuse him for half an hour. With this apology he
withdrew, singing a careless strain as he went. He had not been gone five
minutes, when Merry, who had been sitting in the window, apart from Jonas and
her sister, burst into a half-smothered laugh, and skipped towards the door.
`Hallo!' cried Jonas. `Don't go.'
`Oh, I dare say!' rejoined Merry, looking back. `You're very anxious I should
stay, fright, ain't you?'
`Yes, I am,' said Jonas. `Upon my word I am. I want to speak to you.' But as
she left the room notwithstanding, he ran out after her, and brought her back,
after a short struggle in the passage which scandalised Miss Cherry very much.
`Upon my word, Merry,' urged that young lady, `I wonder at your There are
bounds even to absurdity, my dear.'
`Thank you, my sweet,' said Merry, pursing up her rosy Lips. `Much obliged to
it for its advice. Oh! do leave me alone, you monster, do!' This entreaty was
wrung from her by a new proceeding on the part of Mr. Jonas, who pulled her
down, all breathless as she was, into a seat beside him on the sofa, having at
the same time Miss Cherry upon the other side.
`Now,' said Jonas, clasping the waist of each: `I have got both arms full,
haven't I?'
`One of them will be black and blue to-morrow, if you don't let me go,' cried
the playful Merry.
`Ah! I don't mind your pinching,' grinned Jonas, `a bit.'
`Pinch him for me, Cherry, pray,' said Mercy. `I never did hate anybody so
much as I hate this creature, I declare!'
`No, no, don't say that,' urged Jonas, `and don't pinch either, because I
want to be serious. I say! Cousin Charity!'
`Well! what?' she answered sharply.
`I want to have some sober talk,' said Jonas: `I want to prevent any
mistakes, you know, and to put everything upon a pleasant understanding. That's
desirable and proper, ain't it?'
Neither of the sisters spoke a word. Mr. Jonas paused and cleared his throat,
which was very dry.
`She'll not believe what I am going to say, will she, cousin?' said Jonas,
timidly squeezing Miss Charity.
`Really, Mr. Jonas, I don't know, until I hear what it is. It's quite
impossible!'
`Why, you see,' said Jonas, `her way always being to make game of people, I
know she'll laugh, or pretend to; I know that, before-hand. But you can tell her
I'm in earnest, cousin; can't you? You'll confess you know, won't you? You'll be
honourable, I'm sure,' he added persuasively.
No answer. His throat seemed to grow hotter and hotter, and to be more and
more difficult of control.
`You see, Cousin Charity,' said Jonas, `nobody but you can tell her what
pains I took to get into her company when you were both at the boarding-house in
the city because nobody's so well aware of it, you know. Nobody else can tell
her how hard I tried to get to know you better, in order that I might get to
know her without seeming to wish it. can they? I always asked you about her, and
said where had she gone, and when would she come, and how lively she was, and
all that; didn't I, cousin? I know you'll tell her so, if you haven't told her
so already, and--and--I dare say you have, because I'm sure you're honourable,
ain't you?'
Still not a word. The right arm of Mr. Jonas--the elder sister sat upon his
right--may have been sensible of some tumultuous throbbing which was not within
itself; but nothing else apprised him that his words had had the least effect.
`Even if you kept it to yourself, and haven't told her,' resumed Jonas, `it
don't much matter, because you'll bear honest witness now; won't you? We've been
very good friends from the first; haven't we? And of course we shall be quite
friends in future, and so I don't mind speaking before you a bit. Cousin Mercy,
you've heard what I've been saying. She'll confirm it, every word: she must.
Will you have me for your husband? Eh?'
As he released his hold of Charity, to put this question with better effect,
she started up and hurried away to her own room, marking her progress as she
went by such a train of passionate and incoherent sound, as nothing but a
slighted woman in her anger could produce.
`Let me go away. Let me go after her,' said Merry, pushing him off, and
giving him--to tell the truth--more than one sounding slap upon his outstretched
face.
`Not till you say Yes. You haven't told me. Will you have me for your
husband?'
`No, I won't. I can't bear the sight of you. I have told you so a hundred
times. You are a fright. Besides, I always thought you liked my sister best. We
all thought so.'
`But that wasn't my fault,' said Jonas.
`Yes it was; you know it was.'
`Any trick is fair in love,' said Jonas. `She may have thought I liked her
best, but you didn't.'
`I did!'
`No, you didn't. You never could have thought I liked her best, when you were
by.'
`There's no accounting for tastes,' said Merry; `at least I didn't mean to
say that. I don't know what I mean. Let me go to her.'
`Say "Yes," and then I will.'
`If I ever brought myself to say so, it should only be that I might hate and
tease you all my life.'
`That's as good,' cried Jonas, `as saying it right out. It's a bargain,
cousin. We're a pair, if ever there was one.'
This gallant speech was succeeded by a confused noise of kissing and
slapping; and then the fair but much dishevelled Merry broke away, and followed
in the footsteps of her sister.
Now whether Mr. Pecksniff had been listening--which in one of his character
appears impossible: or divined almost by inspiration what the matter was--which,
in a man of his sagacity is far more probable: or happened by sheer good fortune
to find himself in exactly the right place, at precisely the right time--which,
under the special guardianship in which he lived might very reasonably happen:
it is quite certain that at the moment when the sisters came together in their
own room, he appeared at the chamber door. And a marvellous contrast it was.
They so heated, noisy, and vehement; he so calm, so self-possessed, so cool and
full of peace, that not a hair upon his head was stirred.
`Children!' said Mr. Pecksniff, spreading out his hands in wonder, but not
before he had shut the door, and set his back against it. `Girls! Daughters!
What is this?'
`The wretch! the apostate! the false, mean, odious villain; has before my
very face proposed to Mercy!' was his eldest daughter's answer.
`Who has proposed to Mercy!' asked Mr. Pecksniff.
`He has. That thing, Jonas, down-stairs.'
`Jonas proposed to Mercy?' said Mr. Pecksniff. `Aye, aye! Indeed!'
`Have you nothing else to say?' cried Charity. `Am I to be driven mad, papa?
He has proposed to Mercy, not to me.'
`Oh, fie! For shame!' said Mr. Pecksniff, gravely. `Oh, for shame! Can the
triumph of a sister move you to this terrible display, my child? Oh, really this
is very sad! I am sorry; I am surprised and hurt to see you so. Mercy, my girl,
bless you! See to her. Ah, envy, envy, what a passion you are!'
Uttering this apostrophe in a tone full of grief and lamentation, Mr.
Pecksniff left the room (taking care to shut the door behind him), and walked
down-stairs into the parlour. There he found his intended son-in-law, whom he
seized by both hands.
`Jonas!' cried Mr. Pecksniff. `Jonas! the dearest wish of my heart is now
fulfilled!'
`Very well; I'm glad to hear it,' said Jonas. `That'll do. I say! As it ain't
the one you're so fond of, you must come down with another thousand, Pecksniff.
You must make it up five. It's worth that, to keep your treasure to yourself,
you know. You get off very cheap that way, and haven't sacrifice to make.'
The grin with which he accompanied this, set off his other attractions to
such unspeakable advantage, that even Mr. Pecksniff lost his presence of mind
for a moment, and looked at the young man as if he were quite stupefied with
wonder and admiration. But he quickly regained his composure, and was in the
very act of changing the subject, when a hasty step was heard without, and Tom
Pinch, in a state of great excitement, came darting into the room.
On seeing a stranger there, apparently engaged with Mr. Pecksniff in private
conversation, Tom was very much abashed, though he still looked as if he had
something of great importance to communicate, which would be a sufficient
apology for his intrusion.
`Mr. Pinch,' said Pecksniff, `this is hardly decent. You will excuse my
saying that I think your conduct scarcely decent, Mr. Pinch.'
`I beg your pardon, sir,' replied Tom, `for not knocking at the door.'
`Rather beg this gentleman's pardon, Mr. Pinch,' said Pecksniff. `I know you:
he does not. My young man, Mr. Jonas.'
The son-in-law that was to be gave him a slight nod: not actively disdainful
or contemptuous, only passively: for he was in a good humour.
`Could I speak a word with you, sir, if you please?' said Tom. `It's rather
pressing.'
`It should be very pressing to justify this strange behaviour, Mr Pinch,'
returned his master. `Excuse me for one moment, my dear friend. Now, sir, what
is the reason of this rough intrusion?'
`I am very sorry, sir, I am sure,' said Tom, standing, cap in hand, before
his patron in the passage: `and I know it must have a very rude appearance--'
`It has a very rude appearance, Mr. Pinch.'
`Yes, I feel that, sir; but the truth is, I was so surprised to see them, and
knew you would be too, that I ran home very fast indeed, and really hadn't
enough command over myself to know what I was doing very well. I was in the
church just now, sir, touching the organ for my own amusement, when I happened
to look round, and saw a gentleman and lady standing in the aisle listening.
They seemed to be strangers, sir, as well as I could make out in the dusk: and I
thought I didn't know them: so presently I left off, and said, would they walk
up into the organ-loft, or take a seat? No, they said, they wouldn't do that;
but they thanked me for the music they had heard. In fact,' observed Tom,
blushing, `they said, "Delicious music!" at least, she did: and I am sure that
was a greater pleasure and honour to me than any compliment I could have had.
I--I--beg your pardon sir;' he was all in a tremble, and dropped his hat for the
second time `but I--I'm rather flurried, and I fear I've wandered from the
point.'
`If you will come back to it, Thomas,' said Mr. Pecksniff, with an icy look,
`I shall feel obliged.'
`Yes, sir,' returned Tom, `certainly. They had a posting carriage at the
porch, sir, and had stopped to hear the organ, they said. And then they
said--she said, I mean, "I believe you live with Mr. Pecksniff, sir?" I said I
had that honour, and I took the liberty, sir,' added Tom, raising his eyes to
his benefactor's face, `of saying, as I always will and must, with your
permission, that I was under great obligations to you, and never could express
my sense of them sufficiently.'
`That,' said Mr. Pecksniff, `was very, very wrong. Take your time, Mr.
Pinch.'
`Thank you, sir,' cried Tom. `On that they asked me--she asked, I
mean--"Wasn't there a bridle road to Mr. Pecksniff's house?"'
Mr. Pecksniff suddenly became full of interest.
`"Without going by the Dragon?" When I said there was, and said how happy I
should be to show it 'em, they sent the carriage on by the road, and came with
me across the meadows. I left 'em at the turnstile to run forward and tell you
they were coming, and they'll be here, sir, in--in less than a minute's time, I
should say,' added Tom, fetching his breath with difficulty.
`Now, who,' said Mr. Pecksniff, pondering, `who may these people be?'
`Bless my soul, sir!' cried Tom, `I meant to mention that at first, I thought
I had. I knew them--her, I mean--directly. The gentleman who was ill at the
Dragon, sir, last winter; and the young lady who attended him.'
Tom's teeth chattered in his head, and he positively staggered with
amazement, at witnessing the extraordinary effect produced on Mr. Pecksniff by
these simple words. The dread of losing the old man's favour almost as soon as
they were reconciled, through the mere fact of having Jonas in the house; the
impossibility of dismissing Jonas, or shutting him up, or tying him hand and
foot and putting him in the coal-cellar, without offending him beyond recall;
the horrible discordance prevailing in the establishment, and the impossibility
of reducing it to decent harmony with Charity in loud hysterics, Mercy in the
utmost disorder, Jonas in the parlour, and Martin Chuzzlewit and his young
charge upon the very door-steps; the total hopelessness of being able to
disguise or feasibly explain this state of rampant confusion; the sudden
accumulation over his devoted head of every complicated perplexity and
entanglement for his extrication from which he had trusted to time, good
fortune, chance, and his own plotting, so filled the entrapped architect with
dismay, that if Tom could have been a Gorgon staring at Mr. Pecksniff, and Mr.
Pecksniff could have been a Gorgon staring at Tom, they could not have horrified
each other half so much as in their own bewildered persons.
`Dear, dear!' cried Tom, `what have I done? I hoped it would be a pleasant
surprise, sir. I thought you would like to know.'
But at that moment a loud knocking was heard at the hall door.
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