I SHALL never forget the one-fourth serious and three-fourths
comical astonishment, with which, on the morning of the third of January
eighteen-hundred-and-forty-two, I opened the door of, and put my head into, a
'state-room' on board the Britannia steam- packet, twelve hundred tons burthen
per register, bound for Halifax and Boston, and carrying Her Majesty's mails.
That this state-room had been specially engaged for 'Charles Dickens,
Esquire, and Lady,' was rendered sufficiently clear even to my scared intellect
by a very small manuscript, announcing the fact, which was pinned on a very flat
quilt, covering a very thin mattress, spread like a surgical plaster on a most
inaccessible shelf. But that this was the state-room concerning which Charles
Dickens, Esquire, and Lady, had held daily and nightly conferences for at least
four months preceding: that this could by any possibility be that small snug
chamber of the imagination, which Charles Dickens, Esquire, with the spirit of
prophecy strong upon him, had always foretold would contain at least one little
sofa, and which his lady, with a modest yet most magnificent sense of its
limited dimensions, had from the first opined would not hold more than two
enormous portmanteaus in some odd corner out of sight (portmanteaus which could
now no more be got in at the door, not to say stowed away, than a giraffe could
be persuaded or forced into a flower-pot): that this utterly impracticable,
thoroughly hopeless, and profoundly preposterous box, had the remotest reference
to, or connection with, those chaste and pretty, not to say gorgeous little
bowers, sketched by a masterly hand, in the highly varnished lithographic plan
hanging up in the agent's counting-house in the city of London: that this room
of state, in short, could be anything but a pleasant fiction and cheerful jest
of the captain's, invented and put in practice for the better relish and
enjoyment of the real state-room presently to be disclosed:- these were truths
which I really could not, for the moment, bring my mind at all to bear upon or
comprehend. And I sat down upon a kind of horsehair slab, or perch, of which
there were two within; and looked, without any expression of countenance
whatever, at some friends who had come on board with us, and who were crushing
their faces into all manner of shapes by endeavouring to squeeze them through
the small doorway.
We had experienced a pretty smart shock before coming below, which, but that
we were the most sanguine people living, might have prepared us for the worst.
The imaginative artist to whom I have already made allusion, has depicted in the
same great work, a chamber of almost interminable perspective, furnished, as Mr.
Robins would say, in a style of more than Eastern splendour, and filled (but not
inconveniently so) with groups of ladies and gentlemen, in the very highest
state of enjoyment and vivacity. Before descending into the bowels of the ship,
we had passed from the deck into a long narrow apartment, not unlike a gigantic
hearse with windows in the sides; having at the upper end a melancholy stove, at
which three or four chilly stewards were warming their hands; while on either
side, extending down its whole dreary length, was a long, long table, over each
of which a rack, fixed to the low roof, and stuck full of drinking-glasses and
cruet-stands, hinted dismally at rolling seas and heavy weather. I had not at
that time seen the ideal presentment of this chamber which has since gratified
me so much, but I observed that one of our friends who had made the arrangements
for our voyage, turned pale on entering, retreated on the friend behind him.,
smote his forehead involuntarily, and said below his breath, 'Impossible! it
cannot be!' or words to that effect. He recovered himself however by a great
effort, and after a preparatory cough or two, cried, with a ghastly smile which
is still before me, looking at the same time round the walls, 'Ha! the
breakfast-room, steward - eh?' We all foresaw what the answer must be: we knew
the agony he suffered. He had often spoken of THE SALOON; had taken in and lived
upon the pictorial idea; had usually given us to understand, at home, that to
form a just conception of it, it would be necessary to multiply the size and
furniture of an ordinary drawing-room by seven, and then fall short of the
reality. When the man in reply avowed the truth; the blunt, remorseless, naked
truth; 'This is the saloon, sir' - he actually reeled beneath the blow.
In persons who were so soon to part, and interpose between their else daily
communication the formidable barrier of many thousand miles of stormy space, and
who were for that reason anxious to cast no other cloud, not even the passing
shadow of a moment's disappointment or discomfiture, upon the short interval of
happy companionship that yet remained to them - in persons so situated, the
natural transition from these first surprises was obviously into peals of hearty
laughter, and I can report that I, for one, being still seated upon the slab or
perch before mentioned, roared outright until the vessel rang again. Thus, in
less than two minutes after coming upon it for the first time, we all by common
consent agreed that this state-room was the pleasantest and most facetious and
capital contrivance possible; and that to have had it one inch larger, would
have been quite a disagreeable and deplorable state of things. And with this;
and with showing how, - by very nearly closing the door, and twining in and out
like serpents, and by counting the little washing slab as standing-room, - we
could manage to insinuate four people into it, all at one time; and entreating
each other to observe how very airy it was (in dock), and how there was a
beautiful port-hole which could be kept open all day (weather permitting), and
how there was quite a large bull's-eye just over the looking-glass which would
render shaving a perfectly easy and delightful process (when the ship didn't
roll too much); we arrived, at last, at the unanimous conclusion that it was
rather spacious than otherwise: though I do verily believe that, deducting the
two berths, one above the other, than which nothing smaller for sleeping in was
ever made except coffins, it was no bigger than one of those hackney cabriolets
which have the door behind, and shoot their fares out, like sacks of coals, upon
the pavement.
Having settled this point to the perfect satisfaction of all parties,
concerned and unconcerned, we sat down round the fire in the ladies' cabin -
just to try the effect. It was rather dark, certainly; but somebody said, 'of
course it would be light, at sea,' a proposition to which we all assented;
echoing 'of course, of course;' though it would be exceedingly difficult to say
why we thought so. I remember, too, when we had discovered and exhausted another
topic of consolation in the circumstance of this ladies' cabin adjoining our
state-room, and the consequently immense feasibility of sitting there at all
times and seasons, and had fallen into a momentary silence, leaning our faces on
our hands and looking at the fire, one of our party said, with the solemn air of
a man who had made a discovery, 'What a relish mulled claret will have down
here!' which appeared to strike us all most forcibly; as though there were
something spicy and high-flavoured in cabins, which essentially improved that
composition, and rendered it quite incapable of perfection anywhere else.
There was a stewardess, too, actively engaged in producing clean sheets and
table-cloths from the very entrails of the sofas, and from unexpected lockers,
of such artful mechanism, that it made one's head ache to see them opened one
after another, and rendered it quite a distracting circumstance to follow her
proceedings, and to find that every nook and corner and individual piece of
furniture was something else besides what it pretended to be, and was a mere
trap and deception and place of secret stowage, whose ostensible purpose was its
least useful one.
God bless that stewardess for her piously fraudulent account of January
voyages! God bless her for her clear recollection of the companion passage of
last year, when nobody was ill, and everybody dancing from morning to night, and
it was 'a run' of twelve days, and a piece of the purest frolic, and delight,
and jollity! All happiness be with her for her bright face and her pleasant
Scotch tongue, which had sounds of old Home in it for my fellow-traveller; and
for her predictions of fair winds and fine weather (all wrong, or I shouldn't be
half so fond of her); and for the ten thousand small fragments of genuine
womanly tact, by which, without piecing them elaborately together, and patching
them up into shape and form and case and pointed application, she nevertheless
did plainly show that all young mothers on one side of the Atlantic were near
and close at hand to their little children left upon the other; and that what
seemed to the uninitiated a serious journey, was, to those who were in the
secret, a mere frolic, to be sung about and whistled at! Light be her heart, and
gay her merry eyes, for years!
The state-room had grown pretty fast; but by this time it had expanded into
something quite bulky, and almost boasted a bay- window to view the sea from. So
we went upon deck again in high spirits; and there, everything was in such a
state of bustle and active preparation, that the blood quickened its pace, and
whirled through one's veins on that clear frosty morning with involuntary
mirthfulness. For every gallant ship was riding slowly up and down, and every
little boat was splashing noisily in the water; and knots of people stood upon
the wharf, gazing with a kind of 'dread delight' on the far-famed fast American
steamer; and one party of men were 'taking in the milk,' or, in other words,
getting the cow on board; and another were filling the icehouses to the very
throat with fresh provisions; with butchers'-meat and garden-stuff, pale
sucking-pigs, calves' heads in scores, beef, veal, and pork, and poultry out of
all proportion; and others were coiling ropes and busy with oakum yarns; and
others were lowering heavy packages into the hold; and the purser's head was
barely visible as it loomed in a state, of exquisite perplexity from the midst
of a vast pile of passengers' luggage; and there seemed to be nothing going on
anywhere, or uppermost in the mind of anybody, but preparations for this mighty
voyage. This, with the bright cold sun, the bracing air, the crisply-curling
water, the thin white crust of morning ice upon the decks which crackled with a
sharp and cheerful sound beneath the lightest tread, was irresistible. And when,
again upon the shore, we turned and saw from the vessel's mast her name
signalled in flags of joyous colours, and fluttering by their side the beautiful
American banner with its stars and stripes, - the long three thousand miles and
more, and, longer still, the six whole months of absence, so dwindled and faded,
that the ship had gone out and come home again, and it was broad spring already
in the Coburg Dock at Liverpool.
I have not inquired among my medical acquaintance, whether Turtle, and cold
Punch, with Hock, Champagne, and Claret, and all the slight et cetera usually
included in an unlimited order for a good dinner - especially when it is left to
the liberal construction of my faultless friend, Mr. Radley, of the Adelphi
Hotel - are peculiarly calculated to suffer a sea-change; or whether a plain
mutton-chop, and a glass or two of sherry, would be less likely of conversion
into foreign and disconcerting material. My own opinion is, that whether one is
discreet or indiscreet in these particulars, on the eve of a sea-voyage, is a
matter of little consequence; and that, to use a common phrase, 'it comes to
very much the same thing in the end.' Be this as it may, I know that the dinner
of that day was undeniably perfect; that it comprehended all these items, and a
great many more; and that we all did ample justice to it. And I know too, that,
bating a certain tacit avoidance of any allusion to to-morrow; such as may be
supposed to prevail between delicate-minded turnkeys, and a sensitive prisoner
who is to be hanged next morning; we got on very well, and, all things
considered, were merry enough.
When the morning - THE morning - came, and we met at breakfast, it was
curious to see how eager we all were to prevent a moment's pause in the
conversation, and how astoundingly gay everybody was: the forced spirits of each
member of the little party having as much likeness to his natural mirth, as
hot-house peas at five guineas the quart, resemble in flavour the growth of the
dews, and air, and rain of Heaven. But as one o'clock, the hour for going
aboard, drew near, this volubility dwindled away by little and little, despite
the most persevering efforts to the contrary, until at last, the matter being
now quite desperate, we threw off all disguise; openly speculated upon where we
should be this time to- morrow, this time next day, and so forth; and entrusted
a vast number of messages to those who intended returning to town that night,
which were to be delivered at home and elsewhere without fail, within the very
shortest possible space of time after the arrival of the railway train at Euston
Square. And commissions and remembrances do so crowd upon one at such a time,
that we were still busied with this employment when we found ourselves fused, as
it were, into a dense conglomeration of passengers and passengers' friends and
passengers' luggage, all jumbled together on the deck of a small steamboat, and
panting and snorting off to the packet, which had worked out of dock yesterday
afternoon and was now lying at her moorings in the river.
And there she is! all eyes are turned to where she lies, dimly discernible
through the gathering fog of the early winter afternoon; every finger is pointed
in the same direction; and murmurs of interest and admiration - as 'How
beautiful she looks!' 'How trim she is!' - are heard on every side. Even the
lazy gentleman with his hat on one side and his hands in his pockets, who has
dispensed so much consolation by inquiring with a yawn of another gentleman
whether he is 'going across' - as if it were a ferry - even he condescends to
look that way, and nod his head, as who should say, 'No mistake about THAT:' and
not even the sage Lord Burleigh in his nod, included half so much as this lazy
gentleman of might who has made the passage (as everybody on board has found out
already; it's impossible to say how) thirteen times without a single accident!
There is another passenger very much wrapped-up, who has been frowned down by
the rest, and morally trampled upon and crushed, for presuming to inquire with a
timid interest how long it is since the poor President went down. He is standing
close to the lazy gentleman, and says with a faint smile that he believes She is
a very strong Ship; to which the lazy gentleman, looking first in his
questioner's eye and then very hard in the wind's, answers unexpectedly and
ominously, that She need be. Upon this the lazy gentleman instantly falls very
low in the popular estimation, and the passengers, with looks of defiance,
whisper to each other that he is an ass, and an impostor, and clearly don't know
anything at all about it.
But we are made fast alongside the packet, whose huge red funnel is smoking
bravely, giving rich promise of serious intentions.
Packing-cases, portmanteaus, carpet-bags, and boxes, are already passed from
hand to hand, and hauled on board with breathless rapidity. The officers,
smartly dressed, are at the gangway handing the passengers up the side, and
hurrying the men. In five minutes' time, the little steamer is utterly deserted,
and the packet is beset and over-run by its late freight, who instantly pervade
the whole ship, and are to be met with by the dozen in every nook and corner:
swarming down below with their own baggage, and stumbling over other people's;
disposing themselves comfortably in wrong cabins, and creating a most horrible
confusion by having to turn out again; madly bent upon opening locked doors, and
on forcing a passage into all kinds of out-of-the-way places where there is no
thoroughfare; sending wild stewards, with elfin hair, to and fro upon the breezy
decks on unintelligible errands, impossible of execution: and in short, creating
the most extraordinary and bewildering tumult. In the midst of all this, the
lazy gentleman, who seems to have no luggage of any kind - not so much as a
friend, even - lounges up and down the hurricane deck, coolly puffing a cigar;
and, as this unconcerned demeanour again exalts him in the opinion of those who
have leisure to observe his proceedings, every time he looks up at the masts, or
down at the decks, or over the side, they look there too, as wondering whether
he sees anything wrong anywhere, and hoping that, in case he should, he will
have the goodness to mention it.
What have we here? The captain's boat! and yonder the captain himself. Now,
by all our hopes and wishes, the very man he ought to be! A well-made,
tight-built, dapper little fellow; with a ruddy face, which is a letter of
invitation to shake him by both hands at once; and with a clear, blue honest
eye, that it does one good to see one's sparkling image in. 'Ring the bell!'
'Ding, ding, ding!' the very bell is in a hurry. 'Now for the shore - who's for
the shore?' - 'These gentlemen, I am sorry to say.' They are away, and never
said, Good b'ye. Ah now they wave it from the little boat. 'Good b'ye! Good
b'ye!' Three cheers from them; three more from us; three more from them: and
they are gone.
To and fro, to and fro, to and fro again a hundred times! This waiting for
the latest mail-bags is worse than all. If we could have gone off in the midst
of that last burst, we should have started triumphantly: but to lie here, two
hours and more in the damp fog, neither staying at home nor going abroad, is
letting one gradually down into the very depths of dulness and low spirits. A
speck in the mist, at last! That's something. It is the boat we wait for! That's
more to the purpose. The captain appears on the paddle-box with his speaking
trumpet; the officers take their stations; all hands are on the alert; the
flagging hopes of the passengers revive; the cooks pause in their savoury work,
and look out with faces full of interest. The boat comes alongside; the bags are
dragged in anyhow, and flung down for the moment anywhere. Three cheers more:
and as the first one rings upon our ears, the vessel throbs like a strong giant
that has just received the breath of life; the two great wheels turn fiercely
round for the first time; and the noble ship, with wind and tide astern, breaks
proudly through the lashed and roaming water.
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