MY father's mortal remains had been consigned to the tomb; and
we, with sad faces and sombre garments, sat lingering over the frugal
breakfast-table, revolving plans for our future life. My mother's strong mind
had not given way beneath even this affliction: her spirit, though crushed, was
not broken. Mary's wish was that I should go back to Horton Lodge, and that our
mother should come and live with her and Mr. Richardson at the vicarage: she
affirmed that he wished it no less than herself, and that such an arrangement
could not fail to benefit all parties; for my mother's society and experience
would be of inestimable value to them, and they would do all they could to make
her happy. But no arguments or entreaties could prevail: my mother was
determined not to go. Not that she questioned, for a moment, the kind wishes and
intentions of her daughter; but she affirmed that so long as God spared her
health and strength, she would make use of them to earn her own livelihood, and
be chargeable to no one; whether her dependence would be felt as a burden or
not. If she could afford to reside as a lodger in - vicarage, she would choose
that house before all others as the place of her abode; but not being so
circumstanced, she would never come under its roof, except as an occasional
visitor: unless sickness or calamity should render her assistance really
needful, or until age or infirmity made her incapable of maintaining herself.
'No, Mary,' said she, 'if Richardson and you have anything to spare, you must
lay it aside for your family; and Agnes and I must gather honey for ourselves.
Thanks to my having had daughters to educate, I have not forgotten my
accomplishments. God willing, I will check this vain repining,' she said, while
the tears coursed one another down her cheeks in spite of her efforts; but she
wiped them away, and resolutely shaking back her head, continued, 'I will exert
myself, and look out for a small house, commodiously situated in some populous
but healthy district, where we will take a few young ladies to board and educate
- if we can get them - and as many day pupils as will come, or as we can manage
to instruct. Your father's relations and old friends will be able to send us
some pupils, or to assist us with their recommendations, no doubt: I shall not
apply to my own. What say you to it, Agnes? will you be willing to leave your
present situation and try?'
'Quite willing, mamma; and the money I have saved will do to furnish the
house. It shall be taken from the bank directly.'
'When it is wanted: we must get the house, and settle on preliminaries
first.'
Mary offered to lend the little she possessed; but my mother declined it,
saying that we must begin on an economical plan; and she hoped that the whole or
part of mine, added to what we could get by the sale of the furniture, and what
little our dear papa had contrived to lay aside for her since the debts were
paid, would be sufficient to last us till Christmas; when, it was hoped,
something would accrue from our united labours. It was finally settled that this
should be our plan; and that inquiries and preparations should immediately be
set on foot; and while my mother busied herself with these, I should return to
Horton Lodge at the close of my four weeks' vacation, and give notice for my
final departure when things were in train for the speedy commencement of our
school.
We were discussing these affairs on the morning I have mentioned, about a
fortnight after my father's death, when a letter was brought in for my mother,
on beholding which the colour mounted to her face - lately pale enough with
anxious watchings and excessive sorrow. 'From my father!' murmured she, as she
hastily tore off the cover. It was many years since she had heard from any of
her own relations before. Naturally wondering what the letter might contain, I
watched her countenance while she read it, and was somewhat surprised to see her
bite her lip and knit her brows as if in anger. When she had done, she somewhat
irreverently cast it on the table, saying with a scornful smile, - 'Your
grandpapa has been so kind as to write to me. He says he has no doubt I have
long repented of my "unfortunate marriage," and if I will only acknowledge this,
and confess I was wrong in neglecting his advice, and that I have justly
suffered for it, he will make a lady of me once again - if that be possible
after my long degradation - and remember my girls in his will. Get my desk,
Agnes, and send these things away: I will answer the letter directly. But first,
as I may be depriving you both of a legacy, it is just that I should tell you
what I mean to say. I shall say that he is mistaken in supposing that I can
regret the birth of my daughters (who have been the pride of my life, and are
likely to be the comfort of my old age), or the thirty years I have passed in
the company of my best and dearest friend; - that, had our misfortunes been
three times as great as they were (unless they had been of my bringing on), I
should still the more rejoice to have shared them with your father, and
administered what consolation I was able; and, had his sufferings in illness
been ten times what they wore, I could not regret having watched over and
laboured to relieve them; - that, if he had married a richer wife, misfortunes
and trials would no doubt have come upon him still; while I am egotist enough to
imagine that no other woman could have cheered him through them so well: not
that I am superior to the rest, but I was made for him, and he for me; and I can
no more repent the hours, days, years of happiness we have spent together, and
which neither could have had without the other, than I can the privilege of
having been his nurse in sickness, and his comfort in affliction.
'Will this do, children? - or shall I say we are all very sorry for what has
happened during the last thirty years, and my daughters wish they had never been
born; but since they have had that misfortune, they will be thankful for any
trifle their grandpapa will be kind enough to bestow?'
Of course, we both applauded our mother's resolution; Mary cleared away the
breakfast things; I brought the desk; the letter was quickly written and
despatched; and, from that day, we heard no more of our grandfather, till we saw
his death announced in the newspaper a considerable time after - all his worldly
possessions, of course, being left to our wealthy unknown cousins.
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