1. IwassatisfiedwhenIwasfirstengagedwiththis「bigname」companywhichhasoncedesignedthetallestbuildinginChina.I』vesincerealizedthatthisisjustanother「NoLife」companylivingonitsname.So,infactIstilldon』thavealifeandI』vediscoveredthatIamscrewedanddestinedtocontributemysoulforasoundjobtitleandreasonablesalary.
2. ThinkingaboutworkfromthemomentIwake.AesthesiasetsineverymorningwithbirdcallandIfollowmysensesandtheritualoftryingtousetheleastamountoftimetodealwithtrivialbutessentialroutines;choosingthe「best」foodthatiseasiesttobeswallowedanddigested;reducingwateringestiontoavoidunnecessarywastageandthuswastedtimescurryingofffortoiletvisits;foreverperfectingshortened「bye-byes」togetoutthedoormorerapidly;enhancingworkproductivityafterwakingbybringingremainingunfinishedworkthatcanbeaccessedbetweennaps.
3. Thuseverysecondsavedgivesanextrasecondtoincreasedefficiencyandoutput.Asforanyformofunstructuredtime,likeseeingmovies,strollingaround,orevenjustbeinginathoughtlessdaze,onlywhenthedevilisblindtowork,time,efficiencyandproductivitywillthattimecomeforme.
4. Ihaveturnedsopandaeyed,somuchsothatevenliberalcoveringsoffoundationmakeupcan』tconcealmyphysicalsignsofexhaustion.Iamespeciallynumbaboutmygender,asIwasdisillusionedwithmyMD』sgenuinelyappreciativepraiseonmy「manly」workingattitude,whichrunscountertomylifetimepursuitofbecomingafulltimeblissfullyhappyhousewife.ButeverytimemyrealambitionbecomeslostasIbecome,againstmywill,deeplyemotionallyconnectedwiththeMDbyhisimpassionedspeechesthatarealwaysfullofhisacknowledgementtothosewhoworkslave-likewithbendedheadsoverheapedpapers.IhangonhiswordswaitingfortidbitsofpraiseandafterIamfilledwithself-loathingthatIamsuckedintothissubordinateandsubservientrole.AndasafemaleIfeelwehavelostourgenderandidentityinthebattlefieldoftheinneroffice,becomingsexless,senseless,andloveless,livingour「NoLife」existence.
5. Somepeople,itseems,dohaveaconstructiveconsciousnessandattitudetowardsworking,alwayslookingforwardandthinkingpositively,withoutcynicism.TherewasaninterviewwithsomeCEOonTVinsolentlysumming-upthesecretsofsuccess「Oursuccessisduetothosepersonnelhappilyworkingfortheenterprisedayandnight,dayafterday.」Idon』tknowwhethertheseemployeesarereallyhappyorpretendingtobehappyoriftheCEOhasassumedsubjectivelyhisstaffs』happiness.Iaskmyself,canworkreallybringsuchcontentmentandfulfillmenttoyourlife?
6. IstillrememberinameetingthatourMDsaidthatthepreviousmanagerhere,whowasfemale,quitthecompanybecauseshecouldnotgetmarriedandcouldn』tevengetintoanystablerelationshipduetothetimeshemustgivetoherwork!Shewascloseto50beforesherealizedthenecessitytochangejobsandpriorities.Nearly50forChrist』ssake!IpromisedmyselfIwillneverbecomethesecondsedulousexampleinthiscompany.Thereisalsoafashiondesignerwhohasn』tbeeninarelationshipfor5years.ThelasttimeshewasinlovewasinUniversity.ShehasNoLife.Shedoesn』tevenhavetimeformeals.Shehasresolvedtobreakupwiththiscompany.Howmanyaretherelikeus?Howmany「Nolife」womenarethere?TherearetwogroupsofwomeninShanghai,andmaybeinthisworld,90%have「Nolife」,nofunandnomoney.Theother10%seemstomakemoneyeasily,theygoclubbingallweek,drinkingandpartying，itseemsthisistheir「Life」.BecauseIamsingle,Iamnotasocialite,andIamdeemedanolderwoman(approaching30),amIdestinedtoalwaysworkhardwith「NoLife」?
7. Iamasingleolderwoman.
8. SometimesIamalonelywoman.
9. Iaskmyselfisthattrue?AmIold,singleandlonely?
10. Therearefartoomanycompatriotsinthesameboatwithme.WhatelsecanIsaytoyoutoconvinceyouotherwise?SometimesIcannotevenconvincemyselfthatI』masuccessinsomeway—wearelonely,welongforlove,weareterriblyafraidofdyingdestitute.WhenBellaDePaulo,Ph.D.,apsychologyprofessorattheUniversityofCalifornia,SantaBarbara,andauthorofthebookSingledOut(St.Martin』sPress,2006),asked950collegestudentstodescribemarriedpeople,theyusedwordslike「happy,loving,secure,stable,andkind.」Thedescriptionsofsingles,ontheotherhand,included「lonely,shy,unhappy,insecure,inflexible,andstubborn」.「Mygoodness,amIoneofthem?」Iscreamedandcouldnothelpaskingmyselfthisquestion.Mindyou,nearlymorethen50%ofmyfriendswhoarefarbeyondtheirnubileagearestillunmarried.Thereareseveralreasonsforthis;careerwomenmarrylater;thedivorcerateishighformanyreasons,includingpressureofwork;littletimeandmoodtoshareyourdarling』sromance;noemotiontoreleasepressurefromyourhubbyasyoumayalsobestressed;notimeorideahowtomakepropercandlelitdinnersand,wow,justtoomanytolisthere.Bytheway,nottoputtoofineapointonit,thosewomenwhoaremarriedarelikelytooutlivetheirmates.Asaresult,mostcareerwomenarenowlikelytospendmoreyearsoftheirlivessinglethanwithasignificantother.
11. Wesinglesarenotbirdsofafeather.Istoday』stypicalolderunwedfemalealotlikeCarrieBradshaw,SexandtheCity』sfree-spiritedpatronsaintofthedeliberatelysingle?Theanswer:alittleofthisandalittleofthat,andinsomecases,allkindsofexcusesyoucouldfigureout.