AChild'sCry
佚名/Anonymous
Mostchildrencan』tunderstandthemeaningofDeath.Theirthoughtsarenotdevelopedenoughtoprocessandacceptitschangesandfinality.Existencecontinuesbuttheylongforthelifetheyonceknewbyhopingthatsoontheirparentwillcomebacktothem.Repeatedlytheirdreamsareshattered,whenagainandagainthatparentisn』ttheretokissthemgoodnight.
Astheirmindworkstounderstandthereasonforthemleaving,changescontinuetotakeplacescausingevenmoreconfusion.Suddenlytheyareexposedtonewfaces,newplacesandeventhesameisnowsomehowdifferent.Soontheystarttowonderhowthisparent,whoseemedtolovethemsomuch,couldleavethem.Thechildnoticesthechangesinthepeoplearoundthemastheythemselvestrytodealwiththehurtandlosstheyarefeeling.
Bybeinggood,theytrytheirbesttomakethingsrightagainsotheirparentwillcomebackhome,butagaintheyfail.Thefeelingofguiltmixedwiththefeelingoffailurecausesthechildtofeelashamedofwhattheyhavedoneandtheywithdrawdeepwithinthemselves.Theylongtohidefromtheworldinanefforttonotfeel,oragaincausethepainthatisfeltsostronglybyeveryonearoundthem.Theybecometimidandshyinhopesoffadingintothebackgroundsonoonewillfindouthoweviltheyreallyare.
Nightsarespentlyinginthedampnessofsilenttearsthatcontinuetofall,alwayshauntingtheirthoughtsoflovingorbeingloved.Soontheybegantofeelunworthyofreceivinglove,butmostlytheyfeelthattheyareunabletogivelove.Theyvowthattheywillneverbehurtagainandspendtheirlifetryingtoavoidthelovethatwasoncefeltsomuch.Theyguardtheirhearts,longingforalifeoflonelinesstosavethemfromhurting.Unknowinglytheypunishthemselvesbyblockingoutthesignsthatlovedoesexistintheirlives.Ifbychancesloveiseverfelt,cautionkicksinandcausesthemtosubconsciouslydriveawedgebetweenthemandthereceptoroftheirlove.
Maybesomedaythechildinsidewillfindapersonwhoisstrongenoughtobreakdownthewallsthathavebeenbuilttoprotectthemfromthehurt.Someone,who』senduringenoughtopursuethelovedespitethetormentandthetorturethatisthrustuponthemfromthehurtingchildinside.Someonetofinallyreleasethelovethat』sbeenbottledupforsolong,thenaftersettingitfree,bastinginit』sflowasitsurroundsthem.
Thechildwaitsinside,hidingthetearsfromtheworldandhopingeachdaythattheywillsoonbesetfree,longingtoreleasefromtheirheartsyearsofguilt.Eachnighttheyprayforthatspecialsomeonewhowillbestrongenough,lovingenoughandpatientenoughtoacceptthemforwhotheyareandteachthemthattheyareworthyofbeingloved.Waiting,theylivetheirlifeinthedarknessofthepast,prayingforthelightoflove.
大多數孩子不懂得死亡的含義。對於生命的變化和終結,他們的思維還沒有發展到足以理解和接受的程度。生活仍在繼續,但他們希望父母盡快回到自己身邊,回到以前熟悉的生活中去。可是,一次又一次地,父母不再親吻他們,不再向他們道晚安,他們的夢想一再破滅。
當他們開始理解父母離開的原因時,不斷變化的環境又帶來了更多的困惑。他們會猛然發現自己置身於陌生的人群,陌生的地方;即使是相同的環境,現在看起來也不一樣了。不久,他們開始困惑,父母那麼愛他們,為什麼要離開。當他們試著排解感受到的傷害和失落時,卻發覺周圍的人發生了變化。
為了讓父母重新回到他們身邊,他們盡最大努力把事情做好,盡量做個好孩子,但是,希望又一次破滅。他們深感內疚,同時也摻雜著強烈的挫敗感。於是,他們為自己的行為感到羞愧,並極力地掩飾自己。他們希望躲藏起來,甚至與世隔絕,這樣就感覺不到周圍的人帶給他們的巨大痛苦了;他們變得膽小羞怯,只希望躲在某個不起眼的角落,不讓別人發現他們的罪惡。
無數個不眠之夜,他們默默地流淚,腦海中總縈繞著一個問題——什麼是愛與被愛。很快,他們覺得,接受愛是不值得的,但大多數時候,他們又覺得自己沒有能力付出愛。他們發誓不讓自己再次受到傷害,始終努力避免曾經感受過的深深的愛。他們緊閉心扉,希求孤獨的生活,以逃避傷害。他們不知道,這樣拒絕生命中一切愛的跡象,其實是對自己的懲罰。如果他們偶然感受到了愛,便會謹慎地避開,下意識地在自己與付出愛的人之間設置了障礙。
也許,有一天,會有一個人走進孩子的內心世界,打破他們為避免傷害而構築的「圍城」;會有一個人,不論受到來自受傷孩子多大的折磨和痛苦,仍能一如既往地對其予以關愛。終有一天,他會讓孩子封存已久的愛釋放出來,情感之閘一旦打開,愛便會噴湧而出。
孩子會在心中默默等待,暗自垂淚,希望某天能夠得到解脫,把內疚感釋放出來。每個夜晚,他們會祈禱那個特殊的人出現——他足夠強大,有足夠的愛心和耐心來接受真實的他們,並告訴他們,自己值得被愛。等待,他們活在過去的黑暗中,祈求愛的光芒。
都說孩子是最幸福的,但他們也是最脆弱的。人生來有愛與被愛的需要,隨著環境的變化,它卻越來越微不足道。在滿足孩子物質需求的同時,請不要忽略他們幼小的心靈。
1.Soontheytowonderhowthisparent,whoseemedtothemsomuch,couldleavethem.Thechildnoticestheinthepeoplearoundthemastheythemselvestrytodealwiththeandlosstheyarefeeling.
2.Maybesomedaytheinsidewillfindapersonwhoisstrongenoughtobreakdownthewallshavebeenbuilttoprotectthemfromthehurt.Someone,who』senduringtopursuethelovedespitethetormentandthetorturethatisthrustthemfromthehurtingchildinside.
1.對於生命的變化和終結,他們的思維還沒有發展到足以理解和接受的程度。
2.很快,他們覺得,接受愛是不值得的,但大多數時候,他們又覺得自己沒有能力付出愛。
3.等待,他們活在過去的黑暗中,祈求愛的光芒。
1.Existencecontinuesbuttheylongforthelifetheyonceknew
longfor:渴望;羨慕
2causesthechildtofeelashamedofwhattheyhavedone
feelashamedof:對……感到慚愧;羞恥